Truckin'

Well, this is my post Mother's Day roundup.

I'm sure most (if not all) of you readers out there can commisserate with me when I say "Mom, I love you, but you drive me nuts."

Before I get into that, lemme go back a bit.

Before I went to Jamaica, I knew I was heading to Maryland for Mother's Day. I haven't been down there since Christmas, and my Mom was letting me know that she wasn't too happy about that, so, I figured it was time to do a visit.

There's a place in Baltimore called G&M's. They have AWESOME crab cakes there. A bit pricy, but they're delicious. 8 ounces of lump backfin crab in each one. Very little filler. I've got many people at the office addicted to these things now, so, when I go down there and I'm coming back on a weekday (I took Monday off), I collect orders from everyone.

This order was for 108 crab cakes for a total of $1355.13. I took cash up front from people. I bought a new cooler and it was just big enough to hold them all. That's a LOT of crab.

I talked to my Mom on Thursday (I went to Maryland on Friday), and she came up with this one: "For Mother's Day, I want you to go to church with me."

I responded with complete silence.

See, I'm an athiest. I've told my Mom this. She's a Southern Baptist. She has taken it as her "Mission from God" to bring me back into the fold. Let's just say I'm less than cooperative.

So, knowing a confrontation on this is coming, I hit the road on Friday. 4.5 hours later, I get to Maryland, say my hellos, then go to bed. I was tired. Saturday I got up around 7:30 to find my Mom in the kitchen making potato salad. My cousin and his kids and my brother were coming over the next day.

I had talked to my Dad about going fishing on Saturday morning, but he wasn't feeling well, so, we didn't. I still wanted to go into town to get my fishing license, though, so, around 9, my Dad and I went into town to go to Walmart to get it, the cooler and a few other things.

On the way into the building, I felt for my wallet. I had left it at home. I had my check book in my jacket pocket. I told my Dad this, then I said "If they need my ID, then I'm f---ed."

Oh, shit. That's the first time I've ever dropped the F-Bomb in front of either of my parents. He didn't even bat an eye. Meanwhile, inside I'm going "Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!"

I swear like a sailor, but I try to keep the worst stuff from my parents.

We picked up the stuff we needed, I paid with a check, and then they asked for ID. My Dad furnished his license and they accepted it. Good thing he was there. We decided to go check out the Toyota dealership in town so I could show him the truck I am thinking of getting.

A Toyota Tacoma Double Cab with Long Bed, with the Sports Package and running boards. Gonna cost me a pretty penny, but it'll be good for when S. and I start with the family.

We spent about an hour there, got some pricing, some info on getting a lease, then we went to get the oil changed in my car. Another 30 minutes, then we grabbed some lunch and went home.

Total time gone - 4 hours.

Total times my Mom called my Dad - 6.

Once we got home, we had lunch, then I vaccuumed the house per Mom's request, then I went back into town, with my wallet. I got my fishing license this time, went to 7-Eleven to get a card for my Mom (they had huge ones), then went to a music shop, Record & Tape Traders, to check out their used selection and to pick up the CD my Mom wanted.

I ended up paying $87 for 17 albums, 4 of which I bought new. Not a bad deal, huh?

I called Ex to let her know about a radio station that had changed frequencies she asked me about in the past. I ended up talking to her for an hour. She's thinking about moving to Harrisburg, PA.

Once I got off the phone with her (she didn't want to go), I went over to a local place to pick up a dozen crabs. My Mom told me she didn't want to go out, so, I figured I'd get them and bring them back to the house. Talked to S. while I was there. There was a booklet on house prices for the Harrisburg/York area, so I picked that up and was looking at it while I was chatting, thinking of passing it on to Ex. House prices are a lot different between there and where I live. A house in this area running in the $500,000 range is abount $300,000 in Harrisburg/York.

Wow.

I took the crabs home, then we sat down to eat them. Once done, my Mom dropped it.

Mom: "So, are you going to go to church with us tomorrow?"
Me: Silence for a moment. "I really don't want to go."
Mom: "Not even for Mother's Day?"
Me: "I really don't want to go."
Mom: "I'm not evangelising. I just want my whole family there."
Me: "What would you call it when your mother is trying to guilt you into going to church? I call that evangelising."

My Dad started with the "Why don't you just go for her?" I told him later "If I became buddhist and asked you to attend temple with me, would you go?" "Yeah, I would. I think that would be interesting to see." "Bull shit. You would not." No response.

Now, before anyone says "It was Mother's Day. You should have gone for her", let me point out something. If I said yes, it would then give her clearance for any other holiday/visit/whatever to ask me, and each time it would be harder for me to say no because there was an established pattern. I've gone with her before because she asked, when I was married to Ex. My Mom has always assumed it was her influence on me as to why I stopped going to church and became hard headed about it.

I decided that this was the time to set the record straight. It's me. No one but me making this decision. No outside interference. No suggestions. It was me and me alone that told her "No."

I finally took a shower then went to bed.

At 9:00 the next morning, my Mom knocked on the door and asked me again.

Mom: "Are you sure you won't come to church with us?"
Me: "Yes, I'm sure."
Mom: "I want to ask you a question, and you don't need to answer. Why is your heart so cold toward God? You weren't raised like this."
Me: "So, I'm supposed to go to church and believe out of tradition?"
Mom: "No."
Me: "Well, I'm thinking for myself and I don't want to go."

She was a bit pissed off at that.

I wandered around the house waiting for Round 2 when her and my Dad god home. Surprisingly, there wasn't any finger pointing or bad blood. She amde a comment that she wished I had come, that there was an entertaining skit or something, and that was it. No more guilting.

I doubt, very, very, very much, that this is the end of this, but, it's a start.

My cousin and two of his kids came over and we had fried chicken for dinner. I ate like a pig. Monk was on as a marathon all day, so, my Dad and I parked our butts in the TV room until 10, when I finally pulled myself away and went to bed. I had to get up twice over night to get some antacids, my stomach was in such a mess.

Monday morning I left around 10:00 to go get the crab cakes. Had a good ride north, then distributed all but four orders of them in the office (the four left were from two people who are out this week and two who left early). I drove to another office to deliver a couple more, then I went to another coworker's house to drop hers off. She's on maternity leave.

That's pretty much my Mother's Day Roundup. Hectic, nerve jarring, and lots and lots of driving.