I want somebody to share...

Okay. The fun times are past. Time to get on with the heartache.

I've mentioned before that I'm divorced. I was married for 9 years, and our divorce became final this February. It's an amicable divorce, and we're still friendly. In fact, we work together and see each other on a daily basis. It's a little weird at times, and our mutual friends get off on poking fun. A great one this Tuesday was Jay saying "Oh. Aren't they a cute couple?" when she and I were talking together.

I'm trying to move on with my life. She doesn't appear to really want to do that yet, but, its happening whether she wants it to or not.

I spoke before about reaching resolution with the girl I went out with earlier this year. Lemme give some details on what's going on here.

Scene: Bowling Alley Bar
Time: 10 PM
Actors: Mike, Chris, K. & Freddie

We are all having fun and the booze has been flowing. K. is the barmaid/waitress there. We've been a fixture here for a few years now after bowling. K. specifically asked us to hang around after bowling that night instead of going to another bar with some other people "because we were fun", so, she was doing shots with us.

It's now the end of the evening. Her and Mike has been horsing around, when she drags him out the back exit for a cigarette. When they come back in, she's writing her number on his palm, then writing a note for him, while saying "Don't give it to him until I leave." I'm not too drunk to know that I'm the "him" mentioned. Chris is oblivious, as usual.

Once she leaves, Mike hands me over the info, then complains about being used. He's such a baby.

I call her on Friday (she works on Thursday nights at the bowling alley again), and set up a date for Saturday.

Now, let's get into some interesting details about me and my personal history.

I haven't been on a date in over 9 years.
I have never really instigated a date.
My "dates" in the past really weren't dates. All in all, I've probably had three dates in my life before this.

Date 1 - The first was in High School with Theresa. First "girlfriend". The longest we ever kissed was one second. It just kind of happened with her through mutual friends. The "date" was going to the movies with these mutual friends. I didn't arrange anything - I just showed up.

Date 2 - Again, a double date. A blind double date. I'm 19. She's FOURTEEN. My friend Steve and his girlfriend hooked us up. We went to his girlfriend's house and watched movies in the basement. This girl was all over me. Learned to french kiss that night (badly) and felt my first boob. I'm so ashamed.

Date 3 - My future wife. We'd known each other since High School, and I arranged to go out with her to a dance club. We'd admitted that there were feelings between us, but she had a boyfriend. One thing lead to another at the club, and at the end of the night we're sucking face in my car. A week later she joins me for a week long vacation in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

It's my philosophy that once you're having sex you're not dating anymore, so nothing really counted after Rehoboth Beach. (Oddly enough, this was the subject in Cancun which Glenn overheard during the Mayan demonstration spoken between Jeff and I).

So, there you go. Three dates. Two arranged, one through trickery.

I'm a bit nervous at the prospect of my first real date.

We go to the aforementioned Dave and Buster's on Saturday - the day before Valentine's Day. On the suggestion of Christian, "Take her someplace fun. Having dinner and trying to make small talk with someone you barely know is torture." We have a fun time, talk a lot, and it seems like a really good date. A 6 hour long date, actually. I offer to hold her purse when she's putting on her coat and she states "You're the first guy to actually offer to hold my purse without me asking." I give her a hug and we go our seperate ways.

I call her on Monday and we talk for a couple hours. She's busy on Tuesday, so, I decide to wait until Wednesday when I see her at the bowling alley to arrange a second date.

That Wednesday afternoon I found out my grandfather is ill and has been taken to the hospital for pneumonia. While I run outside to answer a call from my Mom, she's left alone with Mike and Chris. During this time, Chris says something which will drastically change the relationship, and this is what prompted the "let's just be friends" talk.

"I haven't seen Freddie this happy since his seperation."

Now, don't get the wrong idea. I've been completely on the up and up with her. I told her I was getting divorced and I was just waiting on the final paperwork (it arrived the following week). What did it was the fear of rebound. I found this out a few weeks later.

On with the story. I'd respected the "let's just be friends" stance for a couple of months. I'd talked to her on the phone a few times, but I always felt like a stalker doing this.

The Wednesday after I got back from Cancun was our last bowling night for the season. Afterwards was our dinner - as it was. Cold cuts and salads. We usually have a lot better, but we were poor this time because we had dropped from 14 teams to 6. I resolved to stay sober that evening so I could talk to K. after bowling. Mike gave me continual shit for this decision.

And in the end, I chickened out. I never spoke to her that evening.

So, what do I do? I go back the next night to talk to her.

She works the front desk on Thursdays, so, there's time to talk. A couple of kids hang out with her on Thursday nights while their Dads are bowling, so, we couldn't really talk until they went away. When they finally did, it went something like this:

K.: So, what brings you here tonight?
Me: To talk to you, actually.
K.: About?
Me: I'd like to take you out again.
K.: ...

She then had to take care of a customer before coming back to me, while I'm sitting there, terribly uncomfortable, wearing a sling from my wrenched shoulder in Cancun (turns out I sprained it), looking at a book of word games she was occupying her time with.

K.: I'm kind of seeing someone now.
Me: Ah. Okay.

[insert small talk]

Me: Well, give me a call if you want to talk sometime.

[Freddie exits stage left]

I talked to a coworker who knows her the next day. He was talking to her on Wednesday night after our bowling dinner. She told him she was indeed seeing someone, but was going to break up with him.

So, that leaves me with two possibilities here:

1 - She was lying to my coworker about breaking up with this other guy.
2 - She was using the "other guy", even though she's planning on breaking up with him, as an excuse to get rid of me.

Either way, I'm out of the picture.

That was a month ago. That is my resolution.

Next entry, S. Can't really talk about that yet. Might have something tomorrow night. Might not. We'll see then.