enigmocity

The Monster Mash

2006-10-16T15:06:00.000-04:00

So, S. and I had the house all to ourselves this weekend. Mom was out of town for a wedding, as was K.

So, we indulged ourselves.

Friday, we each did our own thing. I ended up playing World of Warcraft until 5:30 in the morning helping one of the new guys in our Guild (The Kabal) run through some quests. Finally crawled into bed at the asscrack of dawn.

Saturday, we did some shopping. We picked up some stuff at the grocery store, thought about going to the mall, then turned around because it was so damned packed.

Then, when we got home, the FUN BEGAN!!!

We made some Chicken Tikka Masala! Yum! Got some garlic nan and onion kulcha to go with it too. It came out deliciously.

While that was marinading, we carved pumpkins!

We had picked up some stencils earlier, I downloaded a few, then we decided to have some fun. Here's a shot of each of the pumpkins we did:

I built a stand in front of the house with some stools and scrap wood, then I displayed them for everyone on the street to see!

And finally, all lit up!

Now, this would have all been well and good except for a slight incident.

You see, the house has two automatic garage doors. I had the one open, and I went to open the other one from the switch inside. As I did, I thought to myself "That's an odd noise." I turned to look at the door, and I see a pair of wheels just underneat the door, rising into the sky.

By the time I got to it, it was almost level with the ceiling. I had to go back inside and unplug the opener, then go get a bandaid for my finger which I sliced trying to stop this from happening.

"What the...?", right? That's what you're thinking, right?

Well, what happened was the handle of the trash can was caught by the handle of the garage door as it opened. I took a picture to prove it!

I ended up having to crush half the trash can to get it off the door.

Oh, well. It was still a nice weekend, and, yes, the trash can did make me laugh quite a bit.

Georgia on my Mind

2006-10-10T12:33:00.000-04:00

So, it's been a while.

Sorry...

So, updates...

Uhh...went to the Bahamas over Labor Day weekend. Went with Jeff, Steve-O, S, S's sis and Mom. It was a nice time. Rained a lot, but I got a lot of reading done.

Came across this link over the weekend. I find this simply amazing and I wish I could see Royal de Luxe in person.

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-1522158746296131750

Truly amazing imagery there. Really captured my imagination.

In other news, the Korean Love Monkey (KLM) has left the building. He's headed south to Georgia, leaving us all behind. To show our appreciation for him, we threw him a BBQ at Tim's house, and I made him this T-shirt and a real Korean Love Monkey as well.

If you can't read it, it says "Korea is for Lovers", superimposed on a map of the Korean Peninsula.

I miss the bewildering bastard.

We all pitched in and got him this sweet Shimano reel.

In yet, other news, Christian IMed me today with this tidbit of information.

Booyah, Grandma. Booyah.

I've already sent out a distribution to my coworkers to let them know this is going on. I expect to be there will bells on.

I know I still haven't posted the other thread as mentioned a few months ago. I dunno if I ever will given the lackluster response I got to the last posting.

Keep on Rockin' in the Free World

2006-08-17T15:47:00.000-04:00

This isn't the promised "Other Thread". This one is just to comment on US District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor slapping the wrist of US President George W. Bush and the National Security Agency for doing warrantless wiretaps, ruling it unconstitutional. CNN has coverage of the ruling.

What made me post about this is I just had a short discussion with my Mother, a Rabid Republican. She has pictures of George Bush hanging in the hallway with the family pictures.

No, I'm not making that up.

I mentioned the ruling to her. She then stated that she doesn't see what the problem is. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't worry about it. I then mentioned 1984 to her and asked if she read it. She said she read it before the year 1984. I pointed out that that is the path the US is going down.

"If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't worry about us installing cameras in your own household."

She then asked if I was a member of the ACLU - I reponded that I was thinking about joining them. That met with a snort of disgust.

I then told her that her willingness to sacrifice her rights and liberties merely goes to prove that those who attacked the Twin Towers are achieving their objectives of terror. The Freedom that we as Americans hold so dear (and many flaunt and lord over all the other countries of the world,without really understanding that what the US has isn't unique anymore) is the target of these groups.

Once the government can keep complete tabs on the people, who will be able to keep tabs on the government? The potential and possibility of revolution is every governments worst fear. It is also the peoples only hope when dealing with oppression and tyranny. The rights you trade away today may seem to be going to a government which has your best interests at heart (okay, I'm being extremely lenient with this statement), but who is to say that in 15 to 20 years the government will still be endowed with such endearing qualities? Prior to Watergate, the office of the Presidency was seen as a paragon.

Yes, there had been rumors of sexual impropriety (JFK and many others) or of potentially exceeding constitutional bounds (Thomas Jefferson), but these actions were either behind closed doors, not affecting Americans or they were done for the benefit of the country.

At least that is the perspective of the people.

With Watergate, this all got blown wide open. The President of the United States was proved to be corruptable. The title does not automatically make a politician clean. It doesn't automatically mean a man who has clawed his way to the top and compromised himself and his principles to reach that position is automatically a Great Man. He's still a Man. And Man is corrupt.

Christianity is based on it with the concept of Original Sin.

So, placing your safety and everything that defines you within easy reach of this corruptable position is folly, in my eyes. The Government of the United States is progressing more and more towards a paranoid entity, spying on its own people, afraid of them.

If they don't pull their prying fingers back and cover their probing eyes soon, they may find they indeed have something to be afraid of.

Rock the Casbah

2006-08-16T09:46:00.000-04:00

Sorry, sorry, life has been busy. S. and I have finished our Save the Dates for our wedding, we've booked our Honeymoon (12 night cruise of the Mediterranean) and we even signed on for a 4 night trip to the Bahamas in the beginning of September.

Oh, and work has been a bear lately, too.

Speaking of work, last night I was recognized by the IT department here for everything I did for decommissioning the HOLEC unit we had here. Apparently we turned around and sold it on eBay.

I got a nice big raise too. Not too shabby couple of weeks.

Now, with that all said, I want to get back into the political stuff. I had an interesting argument with my coworkers via email a couple of weeks ago. The topics splayed out into a couple of threads. In this post I'm going to put up one of those threads. In a couple of days I'll post another one. Please post your comments and thoughts against these as I'm curious to see what other people think. The argument ends rather abruptly - there was a large distribution on this email and it was literally "nuked" by Tim, who started the whole damn thing. (He posted a pic of an A-Bomb going off into the thread.)

And now, without further ado, the first posting:

TIM:

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/newyork/ny-nytom304834975jul30,0,3673590.story

or Black Tim…

MIKE:

I would not call it terrorism. It was simply sabotage.

FREDDIE:

Dunno. We weren't at war with Germany at the time. Though, it was a military target.

Could go either way.

MIKE:

We were the Arsenal of Freedom.

They used to sink our ships too which were delivering supplies to Britain, etc.

A act of terrorism is an act which is basically supposed to inspire and cause terror. This was an act of sabotage to prevent and interrupt munitions from be delivered to Britain etc.

Nothing more.

FREDDIE:

I know, that's my point. The US was employing Brinksmanship up until the sinking of the RMS Lusitania (British passenger and transport ship sailing from NY to Britain, secretly carrying munitions), at which point the US people rallied to declare war on Germany. So to the Germans, the US was basically in an undeclared war with them by providing supplies to their enemies.

So, technically, the only way this would be a terrorist action would be to take into account that there was no state of war between the two countries.

Oh, and Mike, sabotage is a type of terrorism. Placing a bomb on a jetliner is a type of sabotage. It may not be elegant, but it gets the job done.

Terrorism, as your definition of "to inspire and cause terror", is a valid tactic in war.

Refugees fleeing from war zones are frequently fired on by air. It creates havoc on the roads, blocking the movements of troops and supplies from reaching the front. This is a terror tactic.

The bombing of civilian targets (power generation facilities, bridges, damns and even their homes [Dresden, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, London...]) is part of "All Out Warfare". Whether done at a distance or up close by a saboteur, they're all terror tactics. They may serve other ends, but they ultimately impact the common civilian.

The term "terrorist" is a very politically charged one. The French Resistance were Terrorists to the German occupiers, but were Freedom Fighters to the Allies. The same way the current jihadists blowing themselves in terror operations are viewed as Terrorists to us and Freedom Fighters to their own people.

It's all a matter of perspective.

MIKE:

And my perspective (which is all that matters) on this matter is that it was SABOTAGE!!!

The explosion which Tom's article had a PURPOSE other than to cause TERROR in and around NYC, the NYC waterfront and NJ waterfront. It was meant to destroy war supplies destined to be used against Germany.

This was not a car bomb being exploded in Times Square.

These were munitions being destroyed before they could be loaded on to ships to be used against Germany.

We were the arsenal of freedom at that point and we were "unofficially" in the war.

SABOTAGE.

NOT

TERRORISM

Destruction of Munitions

NOT

A Car Bomb or a Plane being flown into the Empire States Building.

FREDDIE:

Out of curiosity, what would you call the bombing of the Marine's barracks in Beirut?

MIKE:

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I will answer BUT it has NOTHING to do with the 1916 Bombing. Totally different circumstances and type of target and situation.

Terrorism. It was a suicide bomb targeting US Soldiers on a peace keeping mission.

They were using a form of terror (suicide bomb) to try and force us from the region.

T2:

But since it was a peace keeping mission, it can be considered an act of warfare. Can soldiers be targets of terrorism, when the mere presence of a soldier will strike fear and terror into some? Or is it an act of war since the military is designed to fight? Bombings against civilians = terrorism, bombings against military installations = warfare.

MIKE:

We were not at WAR with these LUNATICS.

T2:

What about all the “conflicts” we are in that the senate doesn’t declare a war? Are they all acts of terrorism?

MIKE:

Police Actions.

What are you, some sort of communist?

MIKE:

BTW

At least when we are in these other "conflicts" you speak of we do it with our military for all to see. We do not send in suicide bombers, hijack airplanes and fly them into skyscrapers, etc.

Feel free to move to Canada or Cuba anytime you wish.

FREDDIE:

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mike, wake up and read the paper!

Hello? The CIA carries out assassinations and bombings all the time. We've purposely fed the USSR misleading information through counter-espionage which results in one of the largest non-nuclear explosions in modern times. We have secret camps where we are torturing the captives. You don't think the US has made people "disappear"? You don't think the US has made people out as scape goats to cover up their own blunders?

How about the whole concept of the suicide mission?

And, Mike, have you ever read the constitution. Government leads by the mandate of the people! It is a country "By the People, For the People". It is your CIVIC DUTY to call for change and responsibility in our government.

However, saying that, I think that there's a lot of people out there who, as I said before, have their blinders on.

Of course we're in the Middle East after oil. Duh. Our economy runs on it. Iraq is a way for us to get in the area. Why do we back up Israel? Because it gives us a foothold into the area. Why do we care about Korea? Because it jeopardises Japan, our foothold in the Far East, where much of our trade is with.

The purpose of the Government of the US is to take care of the US peoples. It can be very unscrupulous about this. People don't like to hear that. They think they are in a rosy story where everything is happy and nice. The world ain't nice, Baby. It's hard. The US economy is based on exploitation of resources. Oil is a resource. So is cheap labor.

Keep them down, the US economy is stable.

MIKE:

Yeah, OK Freddie. Iraq is all about us getting oil. How is that working out so far? Our oil is higher than ever. If we were just sucking Iraq dry oil would be dirt cheap.

Of course we back certain countries and allies for reasons that sought our proposes.

Read the paper? Do you believe everything you read in the paper?

Once again, if you think this country is so evil feel free to try and change or feel free to leave. Canada to the North, Cuba and Mexico to the south.

1916 - Sabotage
Bombing in Beirut - Terrorism

FREDDIE:

I didn't say it was working. You keep putting words in my mouth. My point is that the US gets involved in other places in the name of its own welfare, and it pisses other people off.

When you heard China was providing money to US diplomats to fund their campaigns, hoping to get pro-China politicians in office, weren't you a bit pissed off?

TONY:

Every other country looks after its well being also. The U.S. is different than any other country in one major aspect though. We are held to a standard that no other nation is.

FREDDIE:

Well, when you're the self described "Leader of the Free World" and your economy dwarfs the rest fo the world's economies, your military is the most advanced in the world and you have the capacity to get involved anywhere, people are going to watch you pretty closely.

HENRY:

All that and for the most part we let the world be as it may. Unless it attacks or threatens our livilhood..again..See the constitution of the US

FREDDIE:

Yeah. Iraq was about to invade us.

That "threatens our livlihood" is a really big blanket.

MIKE:

In theory they had Weapons of Mass Destruction would or could be used on us so we attacked them to prevent future 9/11's.

We also sit their people free from a nut of a dictator.

Unfortunately no one found these WMD's and the country and the region was way more stable with Saddam in power. Who knew?

HENRY:

Stable? There were probably more killings but by the government and never reported

MIKE:

What does stable have to do with killings by the government?

When Saddam was in power there was no terrorism. All of these different religious sects where not fighting amongst themselves.

There was peace and the other countries feared Saddam as well.

MARC:

The people fighting against us in IRAQ aren’t even the citizens of IRAQ. The insurgents are pouring in from Syria, Jordan, Egypt, IRAN, Saudia Arabia, etc.

We have opened up a breeding ground for terrorism in IRAQ. This Holy War the Jiihad has started with us will last 100 years. When we pull out of Iraq and it will happen inevitably whether we choose to or not the terrorists will have a state of their own and oil to fund their religious war against us.

TONY:

Let them all funnel into Iraq where they can be eliminated. It’s easier that way.

FREDDIE:

Okay, I think I have a good definition of Terrorism that we can all abide by:

Terrorism refers to a strategy of using violence, or threat of violence to generate fear, cause disruption, and ultimately, to bring about compliance with specific political, religious, ideological, and personal demands. The targets of terrorist attacks typically are not the individuals who are killed, injured, or taken hostage, but rather the societies to which these individuals belong. Terrorism is a type of unconventional warfare designed to weaken or supplant existing political landscapes through capitulation or acquiescence, as opposed to subversion or direct military action. The broader influence of terrorism in the modern world is often attributed to the dramatic focus of mass media in amplifying feelings of intense fear and anger.

State terrorism more specifically refers to violence and threats of violence, embargoes and other forms of terrorism against civilians by the government of a state.

Given this definition, the Boston Tea Party was indeed a terrorist act as it used violence (destruction of property) to "bring about compliance with specific political, religious, ideological and personal demands". It was not directed against Parliament or the military, but rather to the merchants who were members of the society.

A further definition, per the US Department of State defines terrorism as "Premeditated, politically motivated violence perpetrated against noncombatant targets by subnational groups or clandestine agents."

So, the attack on the Marine's barracks in Beirut was not a terrorist act. It was an attack on a military target. The method of attack (suicide bombing) was unconventional, but there is precedent. Were Kamikaze pilots terrorists or ultra-fanaticals using themselves as living guidance systems?

Same thing.

In the same breath, the sabotage of Black Tom was not a terrorist attack since, once again, the target was of a military nature.

Give a read to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrorism

Of, and if we think we need to continue with this discourse, I can set up an IRC channel for us somewhere so our inboxes aren't exploding. lol

TONY:

There’s a big difference between countries in a declared war (U.S. / Japan) and an international peacekeeping force (U.S. in Beirut) targeted by a group who was using a country as its surrogate base. The suicide bombing of the U.S. (and French) barracks in Beirut by Hezbollah (backed by Iran) was terrorism.

MIKE:

THANK YOU!!!

FREDDIE:

If you are a member of a militant group and you see US and French troops as being invaders (whether they are invited by your government or not is moot if you don't agree with the government), those troops are valid targets. It was not a facility full of diplomats. It was a barracks of military personnel.

Militants are not civilians. They are paramilitary personnel. You don't need a uniform to be in an army. Israel is currently at war with Hezbollah.

Per the US Department of State definition, this was not a terrorist attack because the troops there were on a "Peace Keeping Mission". It was a military mission to enforce order. It was not a bunch of guys handing out flowers to everyone and preaching love and understanding. It was a guy with a gun saying "Sit the hell down and shut up or we will shoot you."

A friend of mine has done a tour in Kosovo and another in Liberia on peace keeping missions. He's currently thinking of reenlisting if his country sends troops to Lebanon as a peace keeping force. He has been shot at. He has shot back. He's had friends injured and he's had people try to run him down with trucks (they didn't survive too long).

A Peace Keeping Mission is, by its definition, in a war zone. Those parties not interested in peace will fight against the Peace Keeping Mission.

The barracks in Beirut were legitimate military targets. The tactics used were merely unconventional, and highly effective. 2 drivers sacrificed themselves and killed 241 American personnel (plus a Lebanese custodian) and 58 French paratroopers (plus the wife of a janitor and their four children), for a total of 305 killed. That's a pretty good kill ratio, and it enshrined the suicide bomber mentality.

TONY:

Corrections:

In certain circumstances, militants ARE civilians or vice versa. That’s the problem with Hezbollah in Lebanon right now. Hezbollah blends back into the civilian population making it difficult for Israel to fight them. It’s the same in Iraq.

The Geneva Conventions outline criteria or “Conduct of War”. A couple of the many are noted below:

Article 44, paragraph 3, of Protocol I
In order to promote the protection of the civilian population from the effects of hostilities, combatants are obliged to distinguish themselves from the civilian population while they are engaged in an attack or in a military operation preparatory to an attack. Recognizing, however, that there are situations in armed conflicts where, owing to the nature of the hostilities an armed combatant cannot so distinguish himself, he shall retain his status as a combatant, provided that, in such situations, he carries his arms openly: (a) during each military engagement, and (b) during such time as he is visible to the adversary while he is engaged in a military deployment preceding the launching of an attack in which he is to participate.

Article 51, paragraph 7, of Protocol I
The presence or movements of the civilian population or individual civilians shall not be used to render certain points or areas immune from military operations, in particular in attempts to shield military objectives from attacks or to shield, favour or impede military operations. The parties to the conflict shall not direct the movement of the civilian population or individual civilians in order to attempt to shield military objectives from attacks or to shield military operations.

Therefore, aside from the more vile war crimes being prosecuted against Saddam’s regime, here are some others pertaining to conduct of war (vs terrorist actions). Whether they’re Iraqi or members of Hezbollah is irrelevant since I am using this as an example. I don’t think the suicide truck bombers were wearing their military uniforms or distinguishing themselves as combatants. They were terrorists

Iraqi soldiers have violated the “principles of distinction” by disguising themselves as Iraqi civilians and concealing their weapons and military status, attempting to draw U.S. soldiers into an ambush.

An embedded reporter traveling with Marines on the road to Nasiriya reported taking fire from Iraqi soldiers dressed as civilians on a bridge outside the city of Nasiriya. By disguising themselves as civilians, Iraqi soldiers blurred the distinction between soldier and civilian in an effort to limit the force of the American military response. As part of this effort, the Iraqi soldiers stockpiled weapons and other heavy military equipment in several houses and moved freely among the houses disguised as civilians.

Iraqi officials have sanctioned the use of terrorist tactics to kill coalition forces. In several instances, Iraqi soldiers have disguised themselves as Iraqi civilians and then detonated concealed explosives. In one case, a pregnant woman pretending to be in distress lured three American soldiers guarding a checkpoint to her, and then the driver of the vehicle detonated an explosive device killing all three soldiers, the pregnant woman, and the driver.
On April 3, a non-commissioned Iraqi Army officer posing as a taxi driver detonated an explosive device in his car at a checkpoint, seriously wounding four American soldiers.

You noted the following:

The targets of terrorist attacks typically are not the individuals who are killed, injured, or taken hostage, but rather the societies to which these individuals belong.

The Hezbollah suicide bombing of the U.S. and French barracks falls into this exactly. If we wanted to have a continued presence in Lebanon, the bombing of the barracks was not going to stop us. The bombing and killing of the Marines was meant to sway American public opinion about our purpose there and therefore have our troops come home which is what exactly happened. Public opinion was not going to allow us to stay there.

If you want to draw a truce in our differing opinions on whether the Beirut bombings were legitimate military engagements or acts of terrorism, I’ll offer the following.

It was a terrorist action by militants.

FREDDIE:

My point is terrorism is a tactic. And whether someone employing it is called a terrorist or a freedom fighter depends on your point of view.

As for the bombing of the barracks and the wearing of uniforms and the Geneva Convention, I would just like to point out that the Geneva Convention is a treaty. Militant groups have not signed it. The big powers will blatantly ignore it if it serves their own ends The Allies targetted civilian population centers in WWII, a violation of the Geneva Convention, while at the same time observing the convention with the treatment of prisoners. I know the Axis did bombings too, but they didn't follow the treatment of prisoners bit either. Japan was never a signatory of the Geneva Convention.

You are also confusing civilian with non-combatant. If a member of Hezbollah falls back to hide among the civilians, that doesn't make him a non-combatant. It just makes him harder to find. That's a guerilla tactic, time honored. It may go against the "Rules of War", but, hey, War is Hell and if you survive it, who gives a damn.

So, yes. The attack on the barracks in Beirut was carried out by militants using a terrorist tactic against a valid military target.

Sweet Home Alabama!

2006-07-06T17:06:00.000-04:00

Well, it's ain't Alabama, but it's probably just as nasty.

But, God help me, it's good to be home.

DAMN good to be home.

Even if Home is in New Jersey.

The flight back wasn't as bad as the flight to Raleigh, however, we boarded the flight, we taxied to the runway, then we parked.

The pilot came on and announced that due to storm activity, we were going to sit on the runway and they expected an update around 8 PM. It was just 7 PM at this point.

There was quite a bit of groaning on the plane. Luckily, we got clearance to take off at 7:55.

The clouds over NJ were quite amazing. Just these towering puffballs with the jet skirting around them. A 20-something woman was sitting in front of me on this flight and she kept turning around to ask me "Did you see that?!"

So, at least we got a good show.

Touched down. I stood there and waited for my bag. I got it with no problems. I got the truck. No problems. I went home. No problems. I climbed into bed.

No problems.

It felt so damn GOOD to be HOME!

Had a nice long weekend. The office was closed on Monday and Tuesday in observance of Independance Day, AKA July 4 here in the US of A. Made a huge BBQ on Monday with spare ribs, italian sausage, grilled veggies. Lots of left overs.

The next day we warmed everything up, cooked some chicken, burgers, hotdogs and bratwurst. Lots of left overs from that night too.

Last night I finished off the ribs.

They were damn good. I actually did them in the oven, smothered in BBQ sauce. 350F for 3 hours.

They were so tender they just fell apart.

Some news on S.

As I mentioned before, she had a cold. She gave it to me. On Monday, she still had it and was coughing a lot, so, we went to see her Doctor. They told her she had an upper respiratory infection, gave her some antibiotics and an inhaler.

As we left the doctor's office, the first thing she did was light a cigarette.

Me: "Put that out!"
S.: "Why?"
Me: "You're fighting a lung infection! Put it out!"
S.: "Fine."

We went to the store to pick up her prescription. I dropped her off in front of the store, then called her Mom to fill her in on what was going on and told her about the cigarettes.

When we got home, Mom was out. We sat on the couch and I started making the BBQ stuff. I went to check on her in the living room and she wasn't there. I noticed through the front door that she was sitting outside. I poked my head out to make sure she was okay, when I noticed the puff of smoke.

Me: "What are you doing???"
S.: "I've been good."
Me: (taking her pack of cigarettes) "Put it out."
S.: "No. I haven't had one in a while." (Note: We've been home at most an hour.)
Me: "I said put it out!"
S.: "Take the pack. I'm not putting this on out."
Me: (taking the cigarette and breaking it in half in her hand) "Stop being stupid. You're fighting a lung infection and this is the last damn thing you need. You can go a day without smoking. I'll give them back to you on Wednesday."

The rest of the day was a battle of wills. I confiscated all her cigarettes I could find, while she sat on the couch and either ignored me or bitched about wanting a cigarette.

Her sister decided to quit smoking because of this, so, she bought a patch and got S. one too.

When Mom got home, she ratted me out, telling S. that I had called her and told her about me putting my foot down about the cigarettes.

S. was even more pissed at me at that point.

That evening after S. went to bed, Mom, K. and I sat upstairs and talked for a while about S., K. and quitting smoking.

The next morning I asked S. how she was doing. She told me she was actually doing fine without the cigarettes and hadn't actually had a craving for one. She was just pissed off the day before because I had taken them from her like she was a child.

I responded that if she was going to be stupid and jeopardize her health by being stupid like that, then she was acting childish and couldn't be trusted with them.

She put on the patch that morning and has been cigarette free for 3 days now.

She told me she still hasn't had a craving for a cigarette. I went to give her the cigarettes back on Wednesday morning like I promised to, and she told me to keep them.

I'm proud of her.

Country Roads, Take Me Home

2006-06-28T09:35:00.000-04:00

This week has been very trying.

I'm currently in Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina for a training class with Jack Morton (formerly Right Source) called "Linux Jumpstart for UNIX System Administrators".

Not much new stuff for me so far. Went over Kickstart and RPM building, though - those are new to me. Now we're talking about X Windows.

Now, here's what happened to me earlier this week.

I had a flight at 5:00 PM on Sunday to get to Raleigh on American Airlines. When I got there to check in, I heard rumors the flight was cancelled. The line was long and there were only 3 people working the line. When I finally got up to be taken care of it was confirmed that yes, indeed, my flight had been cancelled due to inclement weather.

Fine, okay. When's the next flight?

7:00 is the next flight, but it's already full. I can go on standby for it. The next one after that is 6:10 AM.

They printed me a ticket for the 6:10 AM and put me on the standby list for the 7:00. I was #3 on the list.

At 6:30, they moved the flight to 7:20.

At 7:20 I'm standing there waiting with all these other hopeful people. Unfortunately, there are NO standby seats available. The flight is completely full.

Son of a BITCH.

I called S. to come back to get me. In the meantime, I verified my ticket for the next morning, then sat back down to continue reading my book. Then I thought I had better make a few calls.

I called the hotel. They have a message system which states that their office is closed for the day. It has a menu option to "Press 2 to speak to the manager if this is an emergency." So, I press 2.

I get the same damn menu.

I press 2 again.

I get the same damn menu.

I press another number to leave a message for the front desk.

SAME DAMN MENU!!!

I listen throughout the message and make a note of their national reservations line (1-800-CANDLEWOOD).

When I call them, the operator tells me they have no record of my reservation.

"I have a confirmation number!!"
"Sir, that number doesn't match any of our confirmation numbers. Let me forward you to guest relations. They may be able to find the reservation by your credit card."
"Okay."

Sat on hold for 10 minutes, then a guy picks up. He tells me he can't look up a reservation by credit card. He is able to, however, log into the hotel and check their system. He finally determines that yes, I do have a reservation, but it was made with the local hotel but not with the national system.

Huh? How can a national reservation system and a local reservation system work together? You might have 50 rooms in the hotel and the local system books 20 rooms and the national system is used by a tourist group or something who books 35 rooms because they don't know what the local system has done! That's stupid.

Anyway, I talk to the guy and tell him my plight. He tells me he put it in the system that I will arrive in the morning.

Whew. Fine.

Unfortunately, the car rental place doesn't have a number printed on my itinerary. That'll have to wait until I get home.

Which is 10 PM.

I wolf down some soup (I hadn't eaten since 4:00, and that was all I'd had all day), then look up the phone number for Hertz. I get someone in the office and straighten it all out.

In the meantime, I'm in a panic because I can't find my tickets. I thought I had dropped them. I finally find them in my laptop bag. Threw me off because there is an ad printed on the back of the ticket envelope. I thought it was one of my credit card bills or something. (Yes, Citibank puts adverts to buy stuff with their bills.)

I finally get to sleep around midnight.

Three hours later, the alarm goes off for me to go back to the airport. This time I'm driving myself. I'm pissed and I'm tired.

I get to the airport around 5:00 (I made a couple of stops on the way - first to the office to look for a mouse [couldn't find one] and the second at McDonald's for some breakfast), park in the "short term parking" ($30 max a day), then go in.

I get through security no problem (only thing that's gone right), then discover that my flight is being delayed until 6:30.

Greeeat.

When it's finally time for me to board, I discover that, YES, I HAVE LOST MY BOARDING PASS AGAIN!

I search my bags.

Nope.

I search my seat.

Nope.

I search my pockets (again).

Nope.

I go to the woman checking passes (she just finished) and tell her I can't find it. I give her my ID and she kindly prints a new one for me. Then she notes my carry on bag and asks if she gave me a bag check. Apparently the flight has very little carry on capacity. So, I put on the bag check thing, leave my carry on and board.

I need to stoop to get into the plane.

I'm in the front seat against the window on the right side of the plane. This thing is so small there are three seats per row with the aisle between seat 1 and 2, so, I'm in seat 3. The curve of the fuselage of the plane cuts underneath the window seats, so I need to sit kind of diagonal as I can't put my feet directly below me. The flight was only 1.5 hours long though.

Oh, and the 30 minutes we were sitting on the tarmac waiting for our bags to be loaded.

I finally get out at Raleigh.

I head immediately to baggage claim. It takes forever until the belt starts running.

A bag that looks just like mine rolls out.

But it's not mine.

It has a curling iron in it.

I have no hair.

My bag never appears.

SHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

I talk to the bag check lady. She asks me for my bag check ticket.

"What ticket? She gave me the bag check thing and told me to put it on my bag, so I did."
"You were supposed to rip off the bottom of the ticket."
"..."
"We'll see what we can do for you."

I left my information for my hotel with her, got my car (painfree), then went to my hotel.

By this time it's after 9:00. My class started at 9:00.

I got to the hotel and went to check in.

"I'm sorry, but we have no rooms ready right now."
"I have a confirmation number."
"Yes sir, but all our rooms are dirty and need to be cleaned."
"I called last night and they said I could check in early."
"I see nothing about that. If you come back at 3:00, you can check in then."
"..."

Back to the car and off to class. I walk in at 10:00.

I sit down, open the book, then my cell rings.

FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS!

The baggage clerk dug through the woman's bag and found an old boarding pass. They were able to contact her, she was bringing the bag back to the airport, then they would send it to the hotel.

HALLALUJIA!

After class I went to the hotel. I was able to check in. My bag was there. I got to my room. I wept for joy.

It's now Wednesday.

I have a cold. S. gave it to me. Sore throat. Congested chest. Runny nose.

I get to go home tomorrow. I hope. Storms are called for in New York.

Pray for me.

Light a candle.

Kill a goat.

Summon Cthulhu.

Whatever.

Just get me home...

I Love a Man in a Uniform

2006-06-15T12:27:00.000-04:00

Brief update, then a rant.

This weekend I'm going to go fishing on the Choptank in Maryland with my Dad for Father's Day. Should be a blast. He doesn't know about the new truck yet, so, he's expecting to drive. I'm going to surprise him with the truck, and then do the driving for a change. He'll be the one to get to sleep on the ride.

The old boy needs his sleep.

Now, the rant. I was just thinking about the US involvement in Iraq and the people screaming to pull the troops out and them equating it to Vietnam. I'm not bringing politics into this, or the reasons for the wars, just looking at the current events and the responsibilities of the US.

Iraq - The US invaded. We removed the existing government from power. In Vietnam, the US entered into an existing warzone to assist an existing government.

When the US pulled out of Vietnam, it was left in the hands of the existing government to continue the war. There was a standing local military. There was an established local government. In Iraq, neither of these exist. The government is a fledgling affair. The military was dismembered and is in the process of being rebuilt.

Vietnam was a fight between ideologies. Communism versus Capitalism. Dictatorship versus Democracy. In Iraq, now, it's Order versus Chaos. If the US withdrew now, there is no order of any kind, other than Mob Rule. The presense of foreign troops in Iraq, at this point in time, is the only thing preventing an all out civil war, resulting in who knows how much human misery and death.

Now, as I said, I'm not getting into politics here and I'm not playing the blame game. The reasons for getting into Iraq have absolutely nothing to do with if we should remain there anymore! We are the authority there. We are the occupying force. Its not so much a political mission, anymore, as it is a humanitarian mission.

I'm sure someone will point out the thousands of Iraqi's who have been killed during the unrest and the 2000+ US soldiers killed since the beginning of hostilities and say "Does this look like its not a civil war?"

Imagine if foreign troops weren't there? At least they are there to try to keep a lid on the turmoil. If they left, how many shiites will be killed by sunnis? How many sunnis will be killed by shiites? How about the kurds?

It is my opinion that the US should remain in Iraq until a standing military is built with a stable government. That is the mandate. That's the "official" reason for us being there. Remove Saddam Hussein. Install a democratically elected government. Ensure stability.

I expect the US to be there for several years.

For those who are screaming for peace, many are blinded by their own grief for killed and maimed US soldiers. Perhaps the US shouldn't have been there in the first place, but you can't change the past. The US is there. It's a fact. We're the Law of the Land.

Think of the families of Iraqis that are being protected by our troops. Think of the humanitarian cause that they are fulfilling.

The most precious thing to a soldier is peace. They're willing to fight for it.

We're the Kids in America

2006-06-13T09:48:00.000-04:00

The new truck is here! The new truck is here!

S. and I picked it up last night. It finally arrived on Saturday, a full 8 days after it was supposed to be there.

Oh, well. Can't win them all.

Took a couple of pictures of the new Toyota Tacoma, so, here you go!

Ain't she purty?

We're still deciding on a name. I prefer strong Germanic names, like Olga or Inga. Maybe this one will be a Bertha. Not really Germanic, but it's got the conotation of a big woman able to beat the crap out of you. S isn't so sure on my criteria of naming.

We'll see what happens.

On Saturday we went to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on Broadway. Quite a funny production. A few modifications from the movie, which I liked. Andre, the police chief, has a much bigger role now, with his own scenes. The actor in his role was quite good. A lot of camp in the show too, which is always fun.

The understudies for the parts of Freddy Benson and Christine Colgate were at the show we went to. The actress playing Christine Colgate was a little rusty, but she wasn't bad. The actor playing Freddy Benson stole the show, though. There is a scene where he's writhing on the floor trying to bite off a piece of jerky that had the audience in tears laughing so hard.

S. and I are going to start going into the city to see a show at least twice a year now.

Additionally, I've got a New Jersey driver's license now and the car is registered to NJ too. When I went to get the car inspected, a older black guy came up to the car and said "I've gotta meet the man who's got my name." Turns out we've got the same first and last name! I shook his hand and shot the shit with him for a couple minutes while I sat in my car waiting in line.

After we got done, S. told me "You're a Jersey Boy now!"

My response? "Yep. I'm a pube in the armpit of America."

I Wish I Was Your Dog

2006-06-02T14:35:00.000-04:00

Today is our 1 year anniversary. One year ago today (June 2), S. asked me out since I was too much of a pussy to ask her out.

I've been exceedingly happy ever since. :)

We're going to go out to a local Spanish restaurant for dinner tonight. Should be fun.

Siryn told me she has been using Flickr for hosting images, so, I'm looking at doing that now for posting images to here.

I'm hoping to redesign my blog page to something other than "white on black". It will (I hope) include a random header image (working on building them now), but, while I was doing that, I remembered that I needed a Father's Day gift for my Dear Ole' Dad.

He loves his dog. She's a spoiled brat, but fun to play with, when she deigns to do so. So, using Kodak Gallery, I put this image on there, then I ordered a couple mugs with it on them.

Cute, huh?

I took that picture with my camera over Mother's Day weekend by sticking the ball in my mouth to keep her attention.

Disgusting.

I'd Like to Be, Under the Sea

2006-05-23T09:30:00.000-04:00

Well, we are indeed buying the Toyota Tacoma Double Cab Long Bed with the Sports Package. Test drove it - it was a great ride. Used an arrangement through BJ's Wholesale Club and the dealership to only pay $300 over invoice. With a trade in and all was said and done (taxes, tags, fees, etc); $30,000. We're going to put another $8,000 down on it. That should take the monthly payments to around $425, which is less than I'm paying on my car (Mazda 3s Hatchback)! The new truck should be ready to pick up around the end of May, maybe the very beginning of June.

Gonna be nice to have a truck. Vroom vroom!

This weekend was S's birthday. We went down to Point Pleasant, NJ, on the Jersey Shore, for the weekend. Had lunch with her brother, then we went out for a nice dinner later. I got them to do the whole cake and singing thing for her. She was embarrassed, but it was fun all the same. On Sunday we went to the boardwalk, went to the aquarium they have there, then wasted the rest of the day playing Skeeball (just like God) and various other games in the arcade, then we picked up some taffy and steamed crabs and went home. Once we got there, we dug into the crabs. I'm so proud of her - she cleaned and picked two crabs by her self and did a great job at it. She made this Maryland Boy happy! Her Mom then fired up the grill to make some hot dogs, burgers and chicken.

It was a very nice weekend.

Got some news yesterday. Apparently her Mom is going to call the tenants case worker and tell her that she wants them to move out. Then she's going to tell the tenant. As it is right now, S's Mom, sister, S herself and me are all living in that house, with two tenants taking up half of it in the daughter portion of the Mother-Daughter house. S's brother is also planning on moving back home for a little while too.

Can you say full house.

The tenants haven't paid any rent in 2 years because they are seeking Disability. Apparently, it is automatically declined when you put in for it, then you need to prove that you need it. That was 2 years ago. From what S's Mom has told me, this should have been resolved a year ago. She's been letting them live there because they have no place else to go, but, she's fed up with it.

So, some time in June I'll probably be moving into the apartment with S. Maybe July.

June is looking more and more busy.

For the first weekend I'm probably going to go fishing with Tom and the KLM.

On the 10th, S and I will be going into the city to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on Broadway. It was a birthday gift from her Mom.

The following weekend (17th & 18th) is Father's Day. I'm going to head down to Maryland and go fishing with my old man on the Choptank River in Cambridge, MD. It'll be nice.

The last weekend, on the 25th, I'll be flying to Raleigh, North Carolina for an IBM class for the week for work.

You know, I'm looking back at the last few posts, and I seem to have lost some "zing". I've gotta start working the humor back into these things. Otherwise, they're just a "this is what's happening to me now."

So, with that in mind, let me tell a story about something in my past, something funny (I hope).

Let's see...

What can I tell...

What can I tell...

Oh, I know!

I'll talk about my experience(s) with Nitrous Oxide!

Let me set the stage.

A couple of guys I worked with were in a band, Sporatic Sunjam. They rented space at a "studio", which was basically just a big room in an old warehouse where they could practice. The owner/manager of the place would get several of the bands together every few months and hold a rave with a door charge.

At one of these I got there early, and I was hanging around with the guys, when the manager walked in. He told us this story about how he was at his house doing some yardwork when he found several mature marijuana plants growing in his back yard.

Joe: "What did you do with them?"
Manager: "What do you think? I harvested them! Want some?"

He then went to his office and returned with a bag FULL of dried pot. All the guys started smoking it. just as a note, I did not. I've never smoked pot. The extent of my drug experimentation is the Nitrous, which I'm moving on to.

Later on, the party is in full swing. People are dropping acid, smoking pot, when all of a sudden the door opens and these guys come in wheeling a tank of Nitrous Oxide. Laughing Gas!

We all proceeded to fill up balloons with the stuff and passing them around.

Now, I don't know if you've ever tried nitrous before, but I know everyone has inhaled helium, or at least heard someone after they've inhaled helium. Their voice rises and they end up sounding like Mickey Mouse. Well, when in inhale nitrous, the opposite effect happens - your voice drops.

So, there we are, inhaling this stuff, holding our breaths until we almost pass out, then letting out these deep giggles.

One of the guys we worked with Reggie, decided he's going to climb up on this little kids chair next to me. He's standing on it, laughing his ass off screaming "I'm flying! I'm flying!", meanwhile, I'm sitting on the floor next to him, also laughing my ass off, screaming "Get him down before he falls on me!"

You know, my memory hasn't been that great ever since that night...

Truckin'

2006-05-16T11:28:00.000-04:00

Well, this is my post Mother's Day roundup.

I'm sure most (if not all) of you readers out there can commisserate with me when I say "Mom, I love you, but you drive me nuts."

Before I get into that, lemme go back a bit.

Before I went to Jamaica, I knew I was heading to Maryland for Mother's Day. I haven't been down there since Christmas, and my Mom was letting me know that she wasn't too happy about that, so, I figured it was time to do a visit.

There's a place in Baltimore called G&M's. They have AWESOME crab cakes there. A bit pricy, but they're delicious. 8 ounces of lump backfin crab in each one. Very little filler. I've got many people at the office addicted to these things now, so, when I go down there and I'm coming back on a weekday (I took Monday off), I collect orders from everyone.

This order was for 108 crab cakes for a total of $1355.13. I took cash up front from people. I bought a new cooler and it was just big enough to hold them all. That's a LOT of crab.

I talked to my Mom on Thursday (I went to Maryland on Friday), and she came up with this one: "For Mother's Day, I want you to go to church with me."

I responded with complete silence.

See, I'm an athiest. I've told my Mom this. She's a Southern Baptist. She has taken it as her "Mission from God" to bring me back into the fold. Let's just say I'm less than cooperative.

So, knowing a confrontation on this is coming, I hit the road on Friday. 4.5 hours later, I get to Maryland, say my hellos, then go to bed. I was tired. Saturday I got up around 7:30 to find my Mom in the kitchen making potato salad. My cousin and his kids and my brother were coming over the next day.

I had talked to my Dad about going fishing on Saturday morning, but he wasn't feeling well, so, we didn't. I still wanted to go into town to get my fishing license, though, so, around 9, my Dad and I went into town to go to Walmart to get it, the cooler and a few other things.

On the way into the building, I felt for my wallet. I had left it at home. I had my check book in my jacket pocket. I told my Dad this, then I said "If they need my ID, then I'm f---ed."

Oh, shit. That's the first time I've ever dropped the F-Bomb in front of either of my parents. He didn't even bat an eye. Meanwhile, inside I'm going "Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!"

I swear like a sailor, but I try to keep the worst stuff from my parents.

We picked up the stuff we needed, I paid with a check, and then they asked for ID. My Dad furnished his license and they accepted it. Good thing he was there. We decided to go check out the Toyota dealership in town so I could show him the truck I am thinking of getting.

A Toyota Tacoma Double Cab with Long Bed, with the Sports Package and running boards. Gonna cost me a pretty penny, but it'll be good for when S. and I start with the family.

We spent about an hour there, got some pricing, some info on getting a lease, then we went to get the oil changed in my car. Another 30 minutes, then we grabbed some lunch and went home.

Total time gone - 4 hours.

Total times my Mom called my Dad - 6.

Once we got home, we had lunch, then I vaccuumed the house per Mom's request, then I went back into town, with my wallet. I got my fishing license this time, went to 7-Eleven to get a card for my Mom (they had huge ones), then went to a music shop, Record & Tape Traders, to check out their used selection and to pick up the CD my Mom wanted.

I ended up paying $87 for 17 albums, 4 of which I bought new. Not a bad deal, huh?

I called Ex to let her know about a radio station that had changed frequencies she asked me about in the past. I ended up talking to her for an hour. She's thinking about moving to Harrisburg, PA.

Once I got off the phone with her (she didn't want to go), I went over to a local place to pick up a dozen crabs. My Mom told me she didn't want to go out, so, I figured I'd get them and bring them back to the house. Talked to S. while I was there. There was a booklet on house prices for the Harrisburg/York area, so I picked that up and was looking at it while I was chatting, thinking of passing it on to Ex. House prices are a lot different between there and where I live. A house in this area running in the $500,000 range is abount $300,000 in Harrisburg/York.

Wow.

I took the crabs home, then we sat down to eat them. Once done, my Mom dropped it.

Mom: "So, are you going to go to church with us tomorrow?"
Me: Silence for a moment. "I really don't want to go."
Mom: "Not even for Mother's Day?"
Me: "I really don't want to go."
Mom: "I'm not evangelising. I just want my whole family there."
Me: "What would you call it when your mother is trying to guilt you into going to church? I call that evangelising."

My Dad started with the "Why don't you just go for her?" I told him later "If I became buddhist and asked you to attend temple with me, would you go?" "Yeah, I would. I think that would be interesting to see." "Bull shit. You would not." No response.

Now, before anyone says "It was Mother's Day. You should have gone for her", let me point out something. If I said yes, it would then give her clearance for any other holiday/visit/whatever to ask me, and each time it would be harder for me to say no because there was an established pattern. I've gone with her before because she asked, when I was married to Ex. My Mom has always assumed it was her influence on me as to why I stopped going to church and became hard headed about it.

I decided that this was the time to set the record straight. It's me. No one but me making this decision. No outside interference. No suggestions. It was me and me alone that told her "No."

I finally took a shower then went to bed.

At 9:00 the next morning, my Mom knocked on the door and asked me again.

Mom: "Are you sure you won't come to church with us?"
Me: "Yes, I'm sure."
Mom: "I want to ask you a question, and you don't need to answer. Why is your heart so cold toward God? You weren't raised like this."
Me: "So, I'm supposed to go to church and believe out of tradition?"
Mom: "No."
Me: "Well, I'm thinking for myself and I don't want to go."

She was a bit pissed off at that.

I wandered around the house waiting for Round 2 when her and my Dad god home. Surprisingly, there wasn't any finger pointing or bad blood. She amde a comment that she wished I had come, that there was an entertaining skit or something, and that was it. No more guilting.

I doubt, very, very, very much, that this is the end of this, but, it's a start.

My cousin and two of his kids came over and we had fried chicken for dinner. I ate like a pig. Monk was on as a marathon all day, so, my Dad and I parked our butts in the TV room until 10, when I finally pulled myself away and went to bed. I had to get up twice over night to get some antacids, my stomach was in such a mess.

Monday morning I left around 10:00 to go get the crab cakes. Had a good ride north, then distributed all but four orders of them in the office (the four left were from two people who are out this week and two who left early). I drove to another office to deliver a couple more, then I went to another coworker's house to drop hers off. She's on maternity leave.

That's pretty much my Mother's Day Roundup. Hectic, nerve jarring, and lots and lots of driving.

Shock the Monkey

2006-05-04T13:28:00.000-04:00

Back from Jamaica.

Had fun. The resort wasn't all that, but, we had fun. There were eight of us this time. Much the same crew as in Cancun last year. This time, it was Jeff, Steve-O, Michelle, Glenn, Tom, Pat, myself and S.

As a reminder, we stayed at The Sunset Beach Resort & Spa.

The view was spectacular in Jamaica. The hotel was less than.

I've decided to institute a rating system, the "Flailing Monkey", on a scale of 0 - 5, with 5 being outstanding. There are five main criteria (Service, Food, Booze, Grounds and Extras), with a drill down in each area. The overall will be the average of these 5 criteria.

I'm willing to adjust, add and subtract from these criteria based on the response I get, so, don't be shy about asking.

Extras/Excursions	N/A

Service

Front Desk
When we arrived at the hotel, they processed us in quickly enough. Then the waiting began. We got in the hotel around noon. When we got up to the desk, we were told that our rooms weren't ready yet (check in is at 3:00, checkout is at 11:00) and for us to come back in 1.5 hours. They gave us wristbands so we could go to the restaurants and bars. Okay, fine. Went back in 1.5 hours. The room still wasn't ready. "Check in is at 3:00." Fine. At 3:00, the line was long. I got in it and stood there for 20 - 30 minutes before I finally got to the desk. Steve-O and Michelle came in line with me. Their rooms were ready. Mine still wasn't. After a few calls, they determined that my room was ready and they gave me the room keys. The problem was Seve-O's and Michelle's rooms were in the tower right off from the lobby. Mine was off in the boonies for some reason. I asked about getting moved into the same tower as them when I noticed this and was told that there was a room that hadn't been exited yet there that I could transfer into, but it would be a couple of hours. Talked to S., then we decided to keep the room we were issued. We did the hike to the room. It was a good way away from everything else. When we got in, the view was pretty pathetic and the AC said it was on, it sounded like it was on, but the room didn't feel like it and there was no draft coming out of the ventilation. I called the front desk to inquire about getting that room by the lobby and they told me to come back to the desk. Again, another 10 minute wait in line. They called the room - turns out the people weren't vacating. I said the other tower (on the other side of the lobby) would be fine. They started digging and they finally found me another room in the first tower that was available - in 1.5 hours. Fine. Whatever. At this point S. went to the courtesy showers to use them and to put on some better clothes. Yeah, perhaps I should point out that we had left our house at 4:30 in the morning. It was 40F at the house when we left. We were both wearing jeans and she was wearing a sweater (I wore a jacket, but that was easy enough to take off). We were now in Jamaica, where it was close to 90F and very humid. After 1.5 hours, we finally went back to the line and they had a room available!. At least this one had the AC working and the view was that of the lobby, but it was better than what was before. To further add to the inconvenience of the front desk, we needed towel cards to get the towels. Did they give us the cards with our room keys? No. So, I had to go back later to get the towel cards. Very inefficient. Very annoying. At least they were able to help me out. 2 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Bar
The Bars were well placed around the resort and the bartenders never kept you waiting long. No gratiating for tips or anything. You told them what you wanted and they got it for you. Only thing the bars could have done better with respect to service would to have had barmaids going by the pools to take drink orders. 4 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Restaurant Availability
There are allegedly 5 restaurants on the resort. What it turns out to be is one quick order grill (burgers, hotdogs, jerk chicken and grilled cheese),an "English Pub" which is open for tea at 4:00, a buffet which is only open at peak hours (7:00 - 10:00, 12:00 - 2:30, 6:30 - 10:00) and two high end restaurants which are only open for dinner, offer small spaces are are by reservation only. We couldn't get a reservation for them until Sunday night at 8:00 PM. This reservation was made on Friday. On Saturday I tried to book something, and the had nothing available until Tuesday. Not very available. And the buffet, at 10:00 AM, 2:30 PM and 10:00 PM, if you weren't done eating, tough. Everything was broken down immediately. Not very accomodating, for either late risers or night people. The service at the restaurants was split. At the chinese restaurant, we were sitting for over an hour before our meal finally got there. Our waiter was a bit rude to us, as well, telling us that we couldn't order all the food we wanted. The italian restaurant's service was a bit better. It was quick and the waiter was willing to make runs to the bar to get us mixed drinks, which weren't offered in the restaurants. The short order grill was speedy - the guys working there definately busted their asses. The buffet area was sufficient for a buffet. A waiter to take away your plates and to put water in your glass. Nothing spectacular. 3 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys, and that's only because the short order guys moved fast

Cost
For all intents and purposes, the resort was cheap, including the airfare. In hindsight, there was a reason for the low price, but, it was still cheap for a Carribean vacation at $830.36 per person, so, $1660.72 for S. and I, which includes the airfare. Could always be a better value, but, it's still pretty good. 4 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys



Food

Quality
The food was so-so. The hotdogs at the short order grill were awful, but the burgers and jerk chicken were pretty good. The food at the Italian and Chinese restaurants were okay. Nothing spectacular about them. If I didn't need to include the deserts, this section would rate 2 Flailing Monkeys, but, the deserts did indeed save the day. They had a good variety of them to appease most tastes and were in good supply to satisfy your sweet tooth. 3 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Variety
Let's just say their choices could have been more limited, but it would have been a push. The one place where you would expect a lot of variety would have been the buffet, but, it just wasn't happening there. Oh, each day they changed their menu, but, it was weird. One day for lunch they had cornish game hens next to curried goat. Many people won't eat either. That leaves the fried fish or the pasta with a marinara sauce (which they had every day). Their "salad" bar consisted of a heap of lettuce, a vegetable medley and some other vegetable medley. Their "sandwich bar" consisted of someone standing there with a container of tuna fish, some bologna and ham with some fixings. One day they had tacos, which was a plus and were a big hit. But, on the whole, their choices were very limited. 2 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Quantity
With a buffet and a short order grill available, quantity isn't that much of a problem, until you start talking about the two "Reservations Only" restaurants. The quantities there were small, leaving us to trying to get into the buffet after the first one we tried, and for the second restaurant, eating at the buffet an hour before we went to it. The Chinese restaurant in particular was the worst. I ordered the spare ribs as an appetizer with the spring rolls. I get one spring roll cut in half (a small spring roll at that) and two ribs, which if you put them together would result in the length of my thumb. Maybe. The entrees weren't much better. I got the pork lo mein. What I got was less than a pint of lo mein. Everyone else got about the same, but at least they got rice with theirs. Mine is a PASTA DISH! How can you slight on pasta??? Anyway, lucky for them they had the short order grill and buffet, otherwise this would be a lot smaller number. 3 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Cost
It was all inclusive, so, no money required for food. Automatic 5 Flailing Monkeys


Booze

Quality
As I said before, they had some top shelf stuff, but the bulk of it was cheap local stuff. Boxed wine. Red Stripe beer. No name spiced rum. 2 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Variety
Yes, they had beer. Yes, they had wine. Yes, they had some hard alcohol and some of it was indeed top shelf, but it was all lacking. Beer - Red Stripe and Light Red Stripe. That's it. Wine - White from a box. Rum - Can you believe we're in Jamaica and all they have is spiced rum? AND, no Captain Morgan's! So, yes, they had the booze. Did they have a good variety of it? No, not really. But, it was better than just beer and wine and they made mixed drinks with what they had. 2 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Quantity
All inclusive = open bar. Never had to worry about the amount of booze. If you had a big thermos, no problem. They'd fill it with whatever you want. 5 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Cost
Once again, All inclusive = open bar. All booze is free. Can't beat that. 5 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys


Grounds

Pools
There were three pools at the resort, two of which shared a swim up bar. The third was off on it's own. This resort also hosts two slides, which were quite fun to ride down, which emptied into the "Lazy River". Unfortunately, the Lazy River was anything but lazy. I tried reclining on a tube while there and ended up smacking my head against the concrete edge of the pool. I think a slight modification to the edge of the pool to sweep away from the pool instead of a lip reaching into the pool would be much better. The only things lacking, for me, in the pools were A) a deep end and B) sun cover. I understand "A" is asking for a lot, given the liability increase when alcohol is present and the need for life guards, but it would have still been fun. "B" however, I can fully hold the resort responsible for. There were two trees near the smaller pool we mostly stuck to. No umbrellas there. For those of us who burn easily, this wasn't that great. Overall, though, the pools were warm and the staff were noticable at cleaning the pool when bugs, coconut leaves, etc fell in. The chlorine content wasn't high, so, it didn't feel like your eyes were on fire. 4 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Beach
This resort boasted three different beach areas. One was split over two small protected coves while the other two were facing the ocean, one of which was "au natural", ie: Nude Beach. The Au Natural beach was a good distance away, as would be expected, from the main resort, while the other two beaches were easly accessible. Seaweed beds varied from 30 to 50 feet from the beach, while the beach itself was a mixture of fine sand and the occasional gravel. The beaches were kept clean of loose seaweed and a coral reef stood about 100 yards of the beach with freely available snorkle gear to access it. Kayaks and paddle boats were also provided for accessing the reef. The water was warm and quite clear while we were there. Only gripe was the gravel and coral mixed in with the sand (not much they can do about it with the reef nearby) and the closeness of the seaweed beds. There might be environmental reasons for having it that close, but, as a beach goer, it was a bit of a pain. 4 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Scenery
The scenery in Montego Bay is amazing. With mountains to the south west of the resort and surrounded by the bay (as seen on this map), it provided outstanding vistas. The only thing bad is, it's, after all, Jamaica. There's slums. The resort was surrounded by fences with barbed wire on them. It's a third world country and you're just visiting. 4 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Entertainment
They tried. They really did, but it just seemed amateur. They had what seemed like a revolving door of one man bands playing in the lobby in the evenings. One night they had a Reggae band playing on this little stage, too. Unfortunately, I don't like reggae that much. They tried setting up these games as well, but, unless you're a drunk sorority girl on spring break, most of their games aren't that appealing. Musical Chairs? Scavenger Hunt? Scavenger Hunt mixed with Musical Chairs? Like I said, it just seemed really amateur. They had a white board where they would write down the day's activities. One side was for adults, one side was for kids. Frankly, I would have enjoyed the kids' side a lot more than the adults'. 2 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys

Rooms
The rooms were just like ordinary hotel rooms. Nothing fancy. The regular TV with the sound problems (too quiet all the time, except for when you hit the volume button one too many times and it sky rockets). The King size bed where the bed covers keep coming out. The bathtub which hasn't been replaced in 10 years. It was just mediocre. At least it had a small patio. To make matters worse, there are no clocks in the rooms. No radios. No CD players. Nothing. TV. Hair dryer. Iron. Phone. That's the full extent of the electronic devices in the room. How about the courtesy bars and bottles of soap, shampoo and conditioner you get everywhere? Here, they have a dispenser mounted to the wall of the bathroom above the sink and another mounted to the wall of the tub. Talk about class... 2 out of 5 Flailing Monkeys. If I was stuck in the first room I went to, it would have been 1.


I didn't really investigate or take any of the excursions available, so, I'll refrain from judging them. The costs on them seemed a bit expensive when I looked at them ($60 seemed to be the median price for everything from running quads to jet skying to riding horses), so, I opted out on everything except the massage. S. and I got His and Hers Full Body Massages. It cost us $120 for 45 minute massages. It felt nice. My masseuse (I believe his name was Wayne) said I was very tight and I need to stretch more often. Yeah, big surprise. So, anyway, I'm refraining from judging the resort based on their Extras.

So, that brings us to the final countup for everything.

Service
Front Desk
Bar
Restaurant Availability
Cost
Food
Quality
Variety
Quantity
Cost
Booze
Quality
Variety
Quantity
Cost
Grounds
Pools
Beach
Scenery
Entertainment
Rooms
Extras/Excursions	N/A
Overall Rating

There you have it. An overall rating of 3.3 out of 5 for the resort. Completely average. If they just did a little something to make the guests comfortable, it would easily pump this resort up a bit. Increase the variety of food. Make the buffet open from 7:00 - 10:00. Get some pool waitresses. Increase the staffing at the front desk. Put a clock in the rooms. Do a little more planning on the activities. Get some variety with the beers. Is Budweiser really that expensive to import to Jamaica?

As it seemed, this resort is happy to be average. Since it's so average, I'm going to spend my money elsewhere next year where I can get a little more bang for my buck.

Pass the Dutchie...

2006-04-24T12:43:00.000-04:00

Another month, another post.

I know, I'm still being bad. Been busy too, though.

As of this past weekend, I'm pretty much moved in with S. and her Mom. Got a few loose ends to straighten out, then I'm done with the Mountain. I've wanted to move from there shortly after I moved in. Ex was against it and I couldn't get my stuff in order fast enough when we seperated to pull it off.

Oh, well.

So, I'm out, now. The basement at S's place is PACKED. I've got a 6' table set up with my computer on it on one side of the room, then shelves on the other in front of the window loaded with boxes and crates. In the bedroom (also in the basement), there's another set of shelves blocking the door to the outside. Very cramped and it's still a hell hole.

There is a very bright side coming up, however.

This Friday S. and I are going on vacation.

To JAMAICA!!!

We're going for 5 days and 4 nights to the Sunset Beach Resort in Montego Bay. All inclusive, every room with a view of the ocean. AWESOME!

I definately need this vacation. This last month has ben tough with the move. I've got so much garbage in front of the house, I'm curious as to when (if?) the garbage men will take it all. It includes my old bed. That bed was a gift from my parents, I believe, when Ex and I got married - almost 11 yeas ago.

I got a storage facility and rented a UHaul truck for the last two weekends to haul stuff to there and to the house.

And, of course, both weekends it is pouring rain. The days in between were beautiful. Not hot, not cold. Just lovely. But, the moving weekends bookended them perfectly with wet, wet, wet.

The second weekend was worse. Lost a few boxes in shipment because the bottoms of them were so soaked.

What a mess.

I've been changing over my address and cancelling services to the house, too.

Propane - cancelled

Credit card - address changed

Cable - cancelled

Phone - cancelled

BlockBuster - cancelled

Still gotta finish up with the electric (landlord wants it left on, but transferred to his name), my bank, passport (going out of country at the end of the week, so, now is not a good time to change that), car insurance, health insurance and my taxes at work.

Other than that stuff, I think I'm done.

4 days until vacation, 4 days until vacation, 4 days until vacation...

It's my mantra now.

You put your right foot in...

2006-03-28T11:39:00.000-05:00

Dinner last night was a catastrophe.

The gnocchi (per this recipe) should have been fine. Though, in retrospect, I don't think I should have used the all purpose flour. I probably should have used semolina. It was a soupy mess. I ended up pouring in about 6 cups of flour with the potatoes. It was still a sticky, soupy mess.

Had to have been the flour.

So, we tried making regular egg and flour dough.

Another abortion, but, I finally got enough flour in it to dry it enough to use it in the pasta mill. The ravioli maker, on the other hand, just minced it.

Again, should have used semolina.

I finally rolled out thin sheets on the pasta mill and took a can of tomato sauce to the sheets to cut out round ravioli shapes, filled them with a spoonful of the kielbasa and onion mixture, egg washed them, then stuck the top on.

Well, the sauce came out nice, anyway. :p

As for the computer, I'm seeing something very weird.

As I explained yesterday, three computers. I tested connectivity between each of them. I was maxing at about 14Mb throughput, which is horrible for a 100 Mb line. Last night I took home a crossover cable we had in the office and I tried it between the XP box and the Linux server.

5 Mb throughput!!!

Whaaa?

I checked the configuration on the Linux box, and it was autosensing to Half Duplex. I changed it to Full Duplex, but the performance was the same.

I'm thinking the crossover cable has some issues too, now. Tonight I'll make a new one and try that out.

This stuff is really pissing me off.

Tonight S and I are doing surf and turf. Crab legs and filet mignon.

Mmmmm.

I was just trying to remember a song line to make the title of this blog (in case you haven't figured it out yet, for the most part my blog titles are the lines from songs) and I dod a Google to jar something loose and I found this site. Pretty funny names.

Make A Circuit With Me

2006-03-27T12:56:00.000-05:00

Tonight is Ravioli Night. Whee!

I'm a bit bored atm, hence the posting. I've got work to do, I just don't feel like doing it. Instead, I'm going to bitch about some technical issues I'm having lately.

1) Home Network

Turns out the iTunes and iPod aren't the reasons for the slowness. My home network is responsible. It was nice and fast a few weeks ago, but since then I had a power failure. I think my hub/router took a hit. Since then I've had 3 machines on the network and the fastest I've been able to push anything is a little over 5 Mb/s between any combination of them. I should be getting 70 Mb/s throughput. One is Win XP, a second is Win 2K and the last is SUSE 10. Tonight I'll try out a crossover cable between XP and SUSE to see what happens. I've got a switch, but I'd rather not drop that on the network because then everything will be going across a single connection to the router.

2) Network Computers

I've got an old IBM 8364 Netvista Network Computer. It's got a 96 MB flash card in it and I've been trying to get Damn Small Linux to work on it. It's being a bitch about it.

3) Ideas for Mom

I've got several old laptops at home and I'm trying to get at least one of them working. The plan is to drop a Live CD on it, or even boot it from hard disk if it's got one, then bring up a VNC connection to my parents' main computer in their basement over a wireless connection. They don't have broadband, and it's not available to them. So, they have a modem right now. My Mom has a medical condition dealing with the cold, the the computer is in the basement. There's no room for it upstairs. She's told me she'd love to go online, browse the web, send email, etc. So, I thought this would be a good way to get her connected in a convenient way.

I just hope I can get one of the laptops working to pull this off.

Over the weekend I got a storage place at Public Storage. I hope it's big enough - 10' x 10'. I brought my fishing stuff down and stuck it in S's garage too.

Ex came by and got some of her stuff on Saturday, too. It went okay. Just the two of us there, then she hit the road.

That's about it. I'll probably post later this week, depending on how the home network is behaving.

To build a wall between us, Don't ever let them win

2006-03-23T14:46:00.000-05:00

Yes, Siryn, we are planning on having children.

Now, where did I leave off?

Oh, yeah...wedding plans and all that stuff.

On March 4 was the engagement party, with a formal meet and great for the parents the night before.

The evening of March 3rd went well. We went out to a nice restaurant, everyone had fun and her father actually talked! He never talks! He barely even talks to his own kids!

So, I'd rate that as a success.

The next day, however, was what I would call a Partial Birth Abortion.

First, the restaurant had us all spread out, sitting at three different tables. A couple of days prior they had told us that we would all be seated at one long table, but, oh no, we can't serve you like that. So, it ended up with my parents, her parents and her parents friends and older family members sitting at one table, the cousins, S and I and a couple of my friends at another table, then those who arrived late (S's sister, brother and friends) sitting at yet a third table.

Okay, big deal.

The food wasn't that great - I wasn't impressed.

Then, S proceeds to get drunk. I asked her to please lay off the booze that she was getting drunk.

S: "No, I'm not."
Me: "Yes, you are. I can see it in your eyes."
S: "I don't give a damn."

So, that pissed me off. At that point I started loading up my parents' van with the gifts to take back to the house later, and I went with them back to the hotel so my Mom could take some heart medications and I could cool down a bit. We then went over to S's Mom's house to meet up with everyone.

S is completely drunk at this point, being belligerent and maudlin, screaming "Shut up!" at people, giving her sister the finger, and fawning over every gift, the way it's wrapped, the gift itself, etc.

It was painful to watch, and I'm sitting there trying to keep my phony smile on despite me getting more and more angry.

As soon as the gifts were done, I took my parents back to the hotel, with my Mom in tears and steam coming out of my ears.

When I got back to the house, everyone had left except for a few people. I just retreated into the basement and watched TV, not wanting to deal with anyone. S and her alcoholic friend came downstairs, and I could hear the two of them complaining about S's sister. They finally went upstairs, and an hour later I hear yelling.

S's Mom finally comes downstairs and tells me I need to deal with the situation. I go upstairs to find S in tears, screaming at her Mom "I fucking hate you!" and her Mom refusing to talk to her because she's drunk. I tried to calm S down, but Mom is behind me just going "Take her to bed. Just take her to bed.", which just makes S freak out some more. I finally ask Mom to give us 5 minutes, and I got her calmed down, then finally got her into the basement and put her to bed.

I was seriously tempted to sleep on the couch.

The next day S and I had to go wish my parents goodbye, and we were supposed to have breakfast with them. We went over to the hotel and I told them to just hit the road.

When S and I got back to the house, she wanted to just leave, to go to my place. I told her to talk to her Mom.

S: "I'll talk to her later."
Me: "No, you'll talk to her now."
S: "No, I'll talk to her on the phone later."
Me: "You said some really hateful things to her last night, and you need to talk to her right now."
S: "Fine."

Their entire conversation lasted about 5 minutes and consisted of her Mom telling her "You need to control yourself better."

Oooo, aaaaaah.

We hit the road about 30 minutes later, with me being silent. Once we got to the house, I holed up with the computer and she watched TV. I started doing some stuff in the kitchen as well, preparing dinner, and the two of us just didn't look at each other and barely talked.

Around 5:00 (I've been pissed for 24 hours now), I finally sat down on the couch with her, turned off the TV and said "So, are we going to talk about yesterday or continue with the silence?"

She looked at me for a minute, then she said "I don't know what to say."

I sat and stared at her for 5 minutes, then I said: "Say something."

S: "I will. I just don't know where to start."
Me: "I'll wait."
Time passes while I stare at her.
Me: "Say something."
S: "I'm not ready yet."
Time passes while I stare at her.
Me: "Say something. Say anything. I need you to say something."
S: "I don't know where to start. It's all just a jumble."
Me: "Say the first thing that pops into your head."
S: "I'm just so angry at my Mom and my sister..."

This was after 40 minutes of me staring at her and being silent all day, ignoring her. So, she starts to complain about her relationship with her Mom and sister.

Me: "Do you even realize I'm angry?"
S: "Yes, and it's tearing me apart."
Me: "Do you know why I'm angry?"
S: "All I can say is I'm so sorry."

At this point I'm pretty sure she doesn't know why I'm angry.

Me: "I asked you to stop drinking. You pretty much told me to go to hell. You then got drunker and drunker, resulting in that blow up last night. I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but you get belligerent when you're drunk." (A quick nod from her.) "Last night you didn't just embarrass youself, you embarrassed my parents, you embarrassed your parents and you embarrassed me. When I took my Mom back to the hotel, she was in tears. Her mother was an alcoholic, and she's afraid for you. I'm afraid for you. Didn't you notice that every single gift from your family except one had something to do with drinking? A carafe, wine glasses, cocktail glasses, a wine and cheese set, more wine glasses, a decantur, a bartenders mix book... [Ed: The one other gift was a set of place settings] Doesn't that strike you as sad? Your family, the people who are supposed to know you best of all, they give this to you. They think of you drinking. That's sad."

At this point she's on the virge of tears. No arguments, just acceptance.

We talked a little bit more, then she went outside for a quick walk to clear her head.

When she came in, it was to log on the computer to look up a therapist. Her second appointment is this Friday. She's trying to work through her issues with her Mom and sister (Sister is a controlling bitch, for lack of a better word, and Mom lets her get away with it because it's easier than dealing with it). She's also cut out a lot of the drinking. She went 2 weeks without drinking, then the other night for her Mom's birthday she had a few wines and a spritzer over the weekend. We talked about that a little bit too.

S: "Would you mind if I had a spritzer?"
Me: "I don't care if you drink or not. I worry that you don't always stop. I've noticed you haven't been drinking."
S: "I haven't been craving it."
Me: "Like I said. I don't care if you drink or not. Just don't drink yourself stupid."

In other news, my Ex has totalled her new car already. She cut off a guy crossing traffic, which resulted in the car being totalled. She's fine.

That's 2 cars totalled in 4 months.

Damn.

S and I area also playing a game with cooking now. Each week one of us will prepare something from our imaginations. I went first.

I made a wine, orange and mint sauce. I marinated some chicken in yoghurt, sour cream and spring onions, then saute'ed some leeks, mushrooms, peppers, spinach and zuccini. I put the chicken on the grill, then cut it up and mised the veggies and chicken with some cavatelli. I then poured a very tiny bit of the wine mixture in with the mix. The sauce smelled horrible and tasted worse. Luckily, the tiny bit I added was enough that there was a tiny hint of the orange.

This week was her turn. She made talapia with a butter and lemon sauce. She over cooked the talapia and the sauce was worse than mine!

So, for round one, I won.

I'm already thinking about next week.

I'm going to make gnocchi ravioli filled with kielbasa and spring onions, then make a brechamel sauce with proscutto in it. Should be tasty, I think.

In other news, I bought an iPod, the 60 GB one. Bought one for me and one for S. Expensive, but worth it. Got a radio turner for it too to listen while in the car.

Now I'm working with iTunes - what a piece of shit it is. I have a very large MP3 collection - 21000 songs, actually. I've ripped my entire CD collection. It was only 17000 songs last night at first, but I have a newer version I've cleaned up with the full catalog in it that I wanted to load in it last night.

I tried deleting the tracks in the library and it took forever! After 30 minutes, I finally killed it from running. I tried deleting some one at a time after that, and it seemed fast, but, like I said - it was one at a time. So, I selected 20 at a time. It took about 30 seconds to delete!

Holy crap!

I uninstalled iTunes, then reinstalled it. The damn thing keeps its database under My Documents. Duh. So, I just deleted the stupid database and restarted iTunes.

Presto - all clear.

Then, to load it. It seems fast if you're only loading a few at a time, but when you're loading 21000 at once, it takes forever! It was only adding a track about about 3 per second. That's 7000 seconds, or almost 2 hours. I wrote a program that goes through every single one of my files and rewrites the id3 tags in them all, TWICE, and it ran in about 10 minutes. Why the hell does it take 2 hours to process the same list of files to just read the information?

It's not a very efficient program.

We haven't tried hooking up both iPods to it yet to see if we can have seperate playlists automatically synch. That's going to be tonights test.

Which reminds me, in my demented head.

I told my landlord at the beginning of the month that I wasn't renewing the lease. He told me at the beginning of last week (March 12 I think) that he was going to start posting about the place midweek, so, for me to get the place cleaned up.

The house is a hell hole. Plainly put.

Well, it *was* a hell hole. The second floor hasn't been clean since I moved in in '99. I spent Monday - Thursday cleaning the downstairs. I talked to him again on Thursday night to tell him the status of the house.

LL: "Well, I may have somebody who wants to come see it on Monday."
Me: "Okay, should be presentable by then."

Friday night I nearly kill myself cleaning upstairs. S said she would help, but she passed out on the couch. Pissed me off a bit since the kitchen and bedroom were still a mess.

The next morning she got up early and cleaned the kitchen.

I love that girl. :)

I was sitting on the couch for a while when my phone rang. Landlord again, telling me he had someone who wanted to see the house the next day. I humg up and told S he's an asshole.

The upstairs was only about 1/4 of the way done. I went up around 10 in the morning and worked until 6 in the everning. Lots and lots of garbage outside.

You can actually see the floor.

She finished the bedroom and vaccuumed the living room and the bedrooms.

The place was finally presentable. I called my landlord and left him a message telling him the place was done.

It's now Thursday and I have yet to get a response.

We went to Jersey and stayed with her Mom overnight. The following day was the Pearl River St. Patrick's Day Parade so we went to watch it. Lots of bag pipers.

Afterward, we went to the Hibernian House, which is basically a club for people of Irish descent. I got a corned beef sandwich, talked to a drunk leader of a bagpipe group, then finally went home because my back was in agony from standing all day and hauling stuff all over the place for the prior two days.

This weekend I'm going to be hauling more stuff around for the Ex. She's coming by Saturday to get some of her stuff out of the house. S doesn't want to be around while she's there, so, she's going to stay with her Mom on Friday night, then I'll join her after I'm done with the Ex. It'll give me some time to pack up some stuff, in any case.

Well, that's about it. It's almost 4:00 PM, time to go home.

Sorry for the time lapse. Bad Freddie.

The Bog

2006-02-10T10:20:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

I've been busy, so, no postings for a while.

I was hoping to do a "Year In Review", but there's just been so much I never dedicated the time to it. So, I'll just post an update on the last two months - there's been a lot.

S & I have set a date - March 31, 2007. We're going to be wed at the The Colonial Inn in Norwood, NJ. The wedding will be followed by 1.5 hours of cocktails, then a 4 hour reception. It's going to be nice. We've booked our DJ and minister, still checking on photographer and musicians.

Ex is leaving the company. Today is her last day. She's going to work for IBM as a telecommuting consultant. Nice job, actually. She told me that one of the big reasons she's leaving is because of S and I. I kind of feel bad about that, but, on the other hand, I'm not exactly torn up about it. I have my life to live and she has hers. They're two seperate things now, and I'm not going to restrict myself any more.

A decision has been made with my living situation. I'm not going to reup my lease in April. In a couple weeks I'm going to tell my landlord that I'm moving out at the end of my current lease. I'm going to move in with S and her Mom in their basement for a while, then S and I will take over the 2 bedroom apartment her Mom has at the house.

There is currently a tenant in there with her son, but they're going to be kicked out. They have been trying to get disability for the last 2 years, but it's on hold. During that time, S's Mom hasn't been getting any rent. She's owed $18,000 in back rent! She's been waiting for them to get the disability before asking them to leave, but she's becoming more and more convinced that they're just not really pushing for things to be taken care of because they have a free ride on her ticket.

So, out they'll go shortly, then S and I take over the apartment for $800 a month, which is about $300 less than I'm paying now. And it's only 5 miles from work, instead of 35 miles. Her Mom will cover utilities, too. It'll let S and I save a lot of money before the wedding, which we can use to buy a house. I'm hoping to save $30,000 by then.

At the office we've been moved to another place in the building while they redecorate our old area. We go back to the old area (another place in it) next week. Lucky us - we're going to be right outside the CIO's office. He's a real prat.

As for transportation, since the last repair the car appears to be okay. Our current plan of action will be for S to trade in her car and we'll lease a truck. I've got my eye on the Toyota Tacoma. It has good ratings and I can get a V6 4x4 with 4 doors and extended bed. Should be nice for when we have a family.

That's about it for now. I'll try to update a bit more frequently.

Wheels of the Bus go Round and Round

2005-12-30T14:51:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd just post a quick update on a few things that have happened in the last couple days.

First, I'd like to point out the Google word ad at the top of the page. I've seen it doing various things, but today was the first time I've noticed that it's actually doing stuff based on content. What I saw was some stuff on engagement rings and car repair.

Pretty funny, huh?

Anyway, here's some updates.

I got some photo's mailed to me from Shrike for Christmas. Three of them are from when I was in Sweden and one if of just him wearing a christmas hat and looking rather trashed.

Speaking of trashed, there's one in particular of the two of us. It was taken from the night where I puked twice at the concert.

It looks like I was in a puking mood. I'm going to need to scan it or for him to send me the digital of it so I can post it in the blog.

Man, do I look like shit in that pic.

I LOVE it!

Next up, I talked to the Ex yesterday to find out how she's doing. Found out some interesting tidbits. Among them:

Her mother, obviously prior to her death, cut up all the photos of Ex and her sister after the two of them cut off relations with her almost 10 years ago because of her behavior. Ex had since reconnected with her, and her sister reconnected with her the night of her passing while in the hospital.
Ex is looking into getting some therapy to deal with the divorce, my engagement, her car accident and her mother's death. It's about time.

Today has been an excercise in futility and aggravation for me. I've been looking for a DVI to VGA adapter for my laptop so I can hook up a second display. This morning I drove to Radio Shack to buy one - they were supposed to be $7.50. They didn't carry them at that one, so, I went over to Staples to see if they had them. They did.

FOR $25 EACH!!!

Now, I want this adapter, but not that bad. I checked around at some other places today. several of the online vendors had them for dirt cheap, but they required a $10 minimum purchase.

Bah.

Found one which didn't. They had it for $3.77. Then, during checkout, there was a $7 handling fee on orders less than $100.

Okay, fine. What's that in the email?

"The shipping cost for one or more items you ordered is not known at this time. We will advise you of the actual cost before completing your order."

Okay...so, I wait. Ah! A new email from them.

"Your actual shipping costs are $8.97, making the order total $19.74"

Great googly moogly! Cancel, cancel, cancel!

So, I went back to searching. CompUSA was even more expensive than Staples at $35!

This adapter weighs a whole 3 oz. Over the course of the day I've seen it anywhere from $7.50 to over $60! And people wonder why I advise to not buy from the big chains.

I finally resolved myself to just searching through my house some more to figure out where the one I had has disappeared to. Again.

I live like a pig.

I also eat like a pig. That's the final update. S. and I have started a diet. Last night was stir fry. I really need to learn to judge the quantity of vegetables better. I made a LOT. Gonna be eating it for days.

Talked her into seeing The Ringer this weekend. Buwahahaaa!

I love stupid stuff.

Simple Having a Wonderful Christmas Time

2005-12-29T12:32:00.000-05:00

Okay. Christmas.

Everything was looking good. We had off work Friday and Monday, and we both took Tuesday as well. We were going to stay Thursday night through Saturday morning at her Mom's house, then head to my parents again on Saturday night, returning on Tuesday.

Before we left for DC, my stupid check engine came on again. I have a Mazda 3 Hatchback which is constantly having problems with check engine lights coming on all the time. They always tell me it's just an emissions thing and it's fine to drive on it because they need to wait a few days for whatever part they're ordering to come in.

So, I didn't bother setting an appointment for it until Monday after Washington, at which time they told me to bring it in on Thursday. As I said, they don't seem to worry about the check engine light that much, so...

Well, I took it in on Thursday. I told them I was going away for the weekend and I was going to need a car for a while. Well, they said that the warranty may not cover that long of a hold on the car, so, they asked me to wait so they could check it out.

So, I waited for 3 hours. I forgot my cell phone at home, so, I couldn't call my boss and tell him it was going to be longer than I expected. When I got the car back, they said it was fixed, whatever it was that was wrong with it, so, I went to work.

When I left work, the damn light came back on. Too late to call them that night, so, I had to wait until Friday, my day off at S.'s house. When I called them they asked me to bring it in again, so, once more I drive 45 miles to my dealership so they can tinker again.

After another couple hours they tell me that they replaced the metered air flow sensor again. They replaced that one with a $400 bill to me a month or so ago. No charge on it for me this time.

I drove to the mall to do some last minute Christmas shopping. When I left the mall, the damn light is back on! So, I drove it right back to the dealership, which is only a few miles away.

They finally put me into a rental for the weekend.

What does Enterprise put me in?

Another Mazda 3.

Whatever. At this point I just want this damn car to work for a couple weeks without the lights coming on so I can trade it in.

Anyway, it's Friday. I've been gone all day from S. and her mom. I stopped by my house to pick up a couple things on the way back that I had forgotten the day prior.

When I got to their place, they ordered some food out, which I ate with them while finishing my wrapping.

That's when I notice that there's a voice mail on my cell phone.

It's the Ex. Telling me that her mother is dying.

I call her back and find out that her mother (who was diagnosed with several inoperable aneurysms on her aorta a couple years ago) was bleeding into her abdomin and wasn't expected to survive the night. They flew her from Hanover, PA to Johns Hopkins Medical Center via a helicopter to attempt surgery on her.

The next morning I spoke with Ex again. While in surgery they were either removing or placing a clamp on her aorta, but the stress was too much for her. She entered into cardiac arrest and died during surgery.

The doctor came out to her, her sister and father with her glasses and wedding band, blood splattered across his legs. When they went in to see her, she was covered in blood and the hoses were still down her throat.

She was cremated without services per her wishes.

What a great way to start the Christmas holiday, huh?

Her father decided to continue with Christmas, cooking the food and exchanging gifts.

Very sad and sobering.

On Friday night, after I got the initial news, I went back to my house to get my suit. It wasn't until Saturday morning (Christmas Eve) that I discovered that there would be no service.

I thought a bit about my grandfather on that ride, remembering how he looked while he died. I was hoping Ex wouldn't have to experience anything like that, but it seemed to be much worse.

My heart goes out to her and her family.

Well, back to Christmas.

I gave S. an armoire for Christmas on Christmas Eve with her family. Unfortunately, the a-hole who loaded it at Boscov's loaded it on it's side and broke one of the glass doors on it. So, we need to return it this week.

I made out like a bandit. Lots and lots of DVD's. I'm a Moviephile. Love them.

And, the icing on the cake? S. got me tickets to see Spamalot on Broadway. Shwing!

On Tuesday I called the dealership - they were on the phone with Mazda trying to figure out what's wrong. Called on Wednesday, they think it's a wiring collar or something, so, it's on order. I'll probably pick it up this weekend.

That's about it for now. All the sorrow, chaos and fun of Christmas.

What a year...

Going to the chapel...

2005-12-28T15:18:00.000-05:00

Times have been hectic with the holidays, vacations, etc.

Let's go over Washington DC first.

We stayed at the Carlyle Suites, and we got an amazing deal there! It's an Art Deco hotel where all the rooms have a small kitchenette in them. The rooms normally run for for $350 a night! What did we pay? $130 a night.

Not too shabby, eh?

Anyway, we got there on Saturday evening. We were pooped. We went out, walked around Dupont Circle, got a little food, then went back to the hotel and went to bed.

Sunday we went to see many of the monuments. We saw the new WWII Memorial on The Mall, then went down to see the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial, Lincoln Memorial and the Korean War Veteran's Memorial. In front of that one there was a deer. In the middle of Washington, DC. Eating some shrubs.

It wasn't spooked by people or anything. Lots of people were just standing there taking pictures of it. Really odd.

Anyway, we went by the White House and the Washington Monument. The National Christmas Tree looks like crap in the day. The lights look more like a tarp completely covering it. Not very elegant at all.

We met up with my friend Rob for dinner and shot the shit with him for a while before stopping at a bookstore (where I bought a bunch of used books), then back to the hotel to go to sleep again.

Sunday - big day.

We were going to the Smithsonian's American History Museum and the National Air and Space Museum on Sunday which are both on The Mall.

To get there we took the Metro from Dupont Circle to Metro Center, then to the Smithsonian stop. When we were standing at the Dupont Circle stop, I asked S. about having kids or how long of an engagement she would like or some stuff. Can't remember exactly. The dialog then went on something like this.

Her: I can't plan anything until you make a move.
Me: Me make a move?
Her: Yes. Until I get that little round thing, nothing gets planned.
Me: Why do you want a fat cuban midget?
Her: What?
Me: Little round thing. I can only assume you mean a fat cuban midget.
Her: Oh, well. They're a lot of fun.
Me: I know you want a fat cuban midget, but I can't for the life of me figure out why he neds to be carrying a carrot.
Her: Well, he needs four legs too.
Me: Four legs!
Her: Yes. On his head, so he can carry the carrots.
Me: Carrots? More than one?
Her: Yeah!

Well, I continued this conversation with her through our stops, occasionally bringing it back up whenever it seemed to be dying off until we were walking toward the American History Museum across The Mall.

Me: So, you want a fat cuban midget, four legs with at least one carrot, right?
Her: Right.
Me: (fumbling in his pocket) Well, this isn't a fat cuban midget, but what do you think?
Her: OMG!
Me: Will you marry me?
Her: Yes!

So, her engagement ring is code named a fat cuban midget.

So, S. and I are now engaged. :) YEEEEE HAAAAAA!

We're looking at getting married in March - May 2007. First we want to buy a house together.

We enjoyed the rest of the day. Tuesday, we went to the National Holocaust Museum. Very depressing. We had dinner with her cousin and husband that night.

Wednesday we spent the day at the Natural History Museum. We went there with my friend Jason and his family. What a bummer. They used to have a bunch of stuff there on human history in the natural world, including stuff like mummies and the like. Gone. All gone. It sucked.

That night we had dinner with Ken. He looks like Silent Bob. His words. Not mine.

Thursday we went to Arlington before heading to my parents' house. We stopped at the Scottish Merchant Tobbacconist shop to buy something for my Mom (don't get me started) then we went to have lunch at Bilbo Baggins, a restaurant in Alexandria suggested by S.'s cousin's husband. We weren't too impressed with the food.

Afterward, we continued on to the 'rents. I was with them when I bought the ring back in October. (What? Me keep a secret from you, my loyal readers? Sue me.)

My Mom is still stringent about the seperate beds. What a pain in the butt. And I've gotta sleep in the stupid hide-a-bed. What a piece of shit.

Anyway, on Friday, we returned home. Saturday we had a party to go to, where she got to show off her new ring, then Sunday we finally made it back to my place.

What a week.

We worked for a few days, then it was time for Christmas Break. I'll brief you all on that tomorrow or the next day. Happy times and sad in there.

Until then, have fun.

The Times, They Are A Changing

2005-12-08T11:57:00.000-05:00

As I'm sure you noticed, I'm not posting as fast and furious as I did before.

The reason? Not that much interesting stuff on a day to day basis. So, I'm cutting back.

I had Thanksgiving dinner with S. and her family. They all raved about the stuffing - I didn't like it too much. It was dry and it had spinach in it. Her Mom also used gravy from a can! The travesty! I scolded her for it appropriately, of course.

The next day I went to Maryland to go fishing with my Dad. It was the First Annual Elmo Bucher Memorial Fishing Trip. If you recall, Elmo Bucher is my grandfather who passed away earlier this year. Originally, my cousins Mike and Little Mike were going to go, however, bad news on that front. Mike's wife (second wife) was diagnosed with cervical cancer, so, they decided to go to Vegas to have some fun. His son (Little Mike, from his first wife) lives with his Mother who is newly remarried and their whereabouts were a bit unknown leading up to Thanksgiving since she's talking about moving to Florida and may have stayed in the Carolinas over the holiday.

So, it was me and Dad going to Shad Landing on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

It wasn't as cold as we were expecting. It was quite nice, actually.

Unfortunately, the day still sucked. The fish weren't cooperating. At the end of the day (fished from 9 to 4, I think) we had each caught 1 fish. Me? A small white perch. Him? A small yellow perch.

Whee.

Christian's gone from the office now. It's a lot quieter, actually.

Bob put in his two weeks and yesterday was his last day too.

It's amazing to watch, really. Gross mismanagement coming back with a vengeance. Out of 11 technicians (7 UNIX, 4 Windows), 4 people have left. Three of them from the Windows side!

The company is not doing too well, and if our management continues to ignore the issues with it's employees, it's going to collapse from the inside.

Speaking of which, I started looking as well. Checked out a company a few miles from where I live and they gave me a call back. They were looking for a Perl Programmer and I thought I could fit the bill. I spoke with the president of the company (a small [54 employee] web catalog company) who forwarded my information on to his Director of IT. Had a conversation with him earlier this week too. He told me straight out that he didn't think I knew enough Perl for the position, particularly for the amount of money I was asking for, so, he asked me to take an online test.

So, I take the test. The stupid thing doesn't tell me how I did - it just sends off the results to the requester. So, I emailed the guy and asked him how I did.

My results? Atrocious. 19 wrong out of 40. He sent me an example of one I got wrong and I should have gotten it right. On the bright side, though, he did say I fared better on the exam than he expected and he would rate me as a lower mid-level programmer.

Great.

So, I've got that crap to deal with. I'd love to see the results of the test so I'd know where to work on with my programming skills. Oh, well. Maybe I can find another exam online I can take.

S. and I go on vacation tomorrow, then on to Washington, DC. We're going to be staying at the Carlyle Suites near Dupont Circle. Next Thursday we go to my parents' house on the way home, then Saturday is a party at S.'s friend, M.'s, house.

I wish to hell we were going to Cancun or Cozumel, but, beggars can't be choosers.

Stupid hurricanes.

She Loves You, Ya Ya Ya

2005-11-14T12:33:00.000-05:00

Okay. I've covered my trip to Sweden. I've discussed other small things that have popped up, so, I guess I need to update on my love life.

I was looking forward to Sweden so I could judge for myself if I was in love with S or if it was just wishful thinking (hoping?) like it was with K. By the time we had gotten to Sundsvall, I knew it was real.

When I flew back to the States, S met me at the park and ride to give me a ride back to the office so I could get my car to head home. She was taking off work the next day to spend with me, heading up to my house when her day was done.

I had just enough time to get home, take a much needed crap and get some stuff cleaned up before she got there. We went out to dinner, then back to my place to watch some TV. We started making out, and we just kept going, eventually heading back to the bedroom.

As we lay in bed, I told her about my inexperience (only woman I had ever slept with was my Ex), then I dropped the bombshell.

Me: "Before we continue, I need to tell you something."
S: "What?" (look of trepidation in her eyes)
Me: "I love you."
S: "Did you just say you love me?"
Me: "Yes."
S: "I love you too."

SHE LOVES ME TOO!!!!

Did you hear that? Lemme repeat:

SHE LOVES ME TOO!!!!!

We've been inseperable since. We went to visit my parents for my birthday. They love her too. I asked my father after the visit via email what he thought. His response?

"You continue to have a horseshoe up your ass."

He likes her.

We've been looking for a house together and are making plans for the future. We've talked about marriage, having a family, a home to call our own.

I love this woman, and she loves me.

December 10 - 15 we're going to go to Washington, DC, to do some tours, see the sites and meet some of my friends. Next April or so we're going to be going to Ireland with her family. Probably crash at a cousins house for a few days and spend the rest of the time on a chartered boat going up some river.

This is the reason why I took such a long break in blogging. We've been wrapped up in each other and alternating between staying at my house and staying at her house. Given the personal nature of this blog, I've been a bit hesitant to write it while home with her there. As we're always together, that doesn't leave much time.

I'm actually writing this from the 6th floor of 45 Broadway in New York City at the moment. I'm here taking an IBM training class on Java. Had a couple dirty water dogs for lunch.

At work Christian has put in his 2 weeks notice. This Friday is his last day. Gonna miss him. He's left me a going away present, though - a job posting for a Perl programmer near to where I live. I'll be sending in my resume this evening.

The company I work for is going down the tubes fast. Management changes like crazy, constant rumors of outsourcing, selling off large portions of the company and a general reduction of expenditures have all destroyed whatever morale was left by the employees. In the last 6 weeks, we've had three technical people in critical positions resign - Mike (Windows Admin), Bill (Exchange Admin) and Christian (UNIX Admin).

Let's just say the future of the company doesn't look the greatest at the moment.

So, let's recap.

Personal life - everything is grand.
Public life - work sucks.

And I'm Leaving, On a Jet Plane (Pt. 2)

2005-11-10T14:12:00.000-05:00

Okay, where did I leave off...oh, yeah - Sundsvall.

So, Torak (aka Erucolindo in case I didn't explain that one before) had us going the wrong direction for a while.

Oh, well. Shit happens.

So, we drive up to Sundsvall in Fieldstar's car and it took a long while. Fieldstar started driving, then Torak, then me. Stopped at a liquor store to get some "essentials".

Damn, alcohol is EX-PEN-SIVE! I bought two 750 ml bottles of Absolut (a product of Sweden) and a litre of Kahlua. Total bill? 700 :-! That's about $100 US!

DAAAAAAAAAMN!

That's an espensive bottle of vodka, that is.

Anyway, we were then fortified and we went on to Torak's place to drop him off (he lives in Sundsvall), after which we continued to Shrike's mother's house (Shrike and Torak grew up together), where she was kind enough to offer us a place to crash.

Sundsvall is a bit different than Linköping. For one thing, it's a few hundred miles north of Linköping. For another, it's a coastal city with a sea port. This means a lot more traffic. Both were quite beautiful.

Later in the evening we went to visit Casino Cosmopol, where Torak works as a dealer. We went in for dinner, then spent some money gambling afterward.

None of us were particularly lucky, so, we left and walked back to Torak's pad. In the meantime, his friend Jim had arrived for the Sundsvall Gatufest, which was the main reason we went to Sundsvall.

The Gatu Festen is a 3 day street fair with several stages and lots of music.

Where was I? Oh, back to Torak's pad.

Once there I hoarded the computer to send emails to family and friends and S. And I proceeded to start making White Russians and drinking lots of vodka and beer.

Eventually we left and walked back into the city to see the setup for the festival which was to start the next day, just wandering around and shooting the shit with people.

We were tired from our early start, so, we eventually went back to Shrike's Mom's house to go to bed.

Thursday we got up around noon, as was our usual for this trip. Once we all finally got ready, we went into the city to get some food, then wandered over to Torak's place again. We then started to drink - heavily.

We played a drinking game where you place a deck of cards on top of a bottle. Each person blows on the deck to get some cards off of it. Whoever blows teh last card off the bottle needs to take a shot.

At this point I've already had a couple white russians (heavy on the vodka), a beer or two and a couple shots. Over the course of the game, I had another 5 or 6 shots, then another white russian when we were leaving to go to the festival.

Shrike, Siryn & Fieldstar - I'm sorry for that evening, I really am.

Torak and Jim disappeared into the masses, leaving the four of us to fend for ourselves. I was feeling really, really drunk. I managed to get to a public urinal with Shrike as my wing man to drain my bladder a bit, where I struck up a conversation with some drunk Swedes. They liked me. I liked them. We were all drunk together. They wanted to meet the next day in the park before the festival started.

Me: "Shuuur! Shuuuur! Shee you tooommmmor. Row."

I did mention I was drunk, right?

Anyway, we were kind of camping outside of the gates in a grassy area. I then laid down in the grass and I became an immovable object for several hours, on the verge of passing out.

The others were using me for a pillow.

Siryn was drawing stuff on my face and arms with her eyeliner.

I was saying things that are better left unsaid.

I vaguely remember a cop coming by to ask us if we were okay. The three semi-sober members of out party deflected the cop away from me. They then decided it was time to get me up and moving around a bit, so, we moved over to a picnic bench to the side.

The world was swimming and I was drowning in it.

Me: "I'm gonna puke."
Shrike: "You're gonna puke?"
Me: "Yep."
Shrike: "Can you keep it in?"
Me: "Nope."
Shrike: "Okay, come over here."

He lead me over to this metal box sticking out of the ground. I leaned next to it and just started letting it all go. He helped me out by grabbing me around the waist and squeezing every time I vomited.

This went on for a while.

Again, I'm vaguely aware of a cop coming by again. Shrike told him they were going to take me home.

They didn't.

After I had a drink of some water, Fieldstar took one side and Shrike took the other and they led me into the concert and over to a couple of stages. I managed to slip away and sat down to the side. The grass looked so cool and inviting, that I laid down in it again.

I got used as a pillow again.

Siryn said it was amusing that I appeared to be asleep/passed out, but I was tapping my foot to the rhythm of the band on stage.

When they got me up to leave, we had gotten about 100 feet when I declared "I need to puke again."

Off to the side someone led me - Shrike? Fieldstar? I dunno.

I did my business, then we caught a cab home, with me hating the world in the back seat. I managed to get downstairs without killing myself, then the other three helped undress me and get me into bed.

I did say I'm really sorry for that night, right? I am. Really, really sorry.

Surprisingly, when I woke up the next morning, I didn't have a hang over.

Once again we went into town for some food. My throat was raw and I had a sniffle from the night before, and I eschewed all manner of alcohol that day. We ultimately went to the concert after another drunk fest (which generated some truly funny footage with Torak).

When we got to the concert, Torak went berserk. We managed to follow him into the huge crowd there, where he proceeded to just jump, sway and sing, regardless of who was around him.

As a side note - concerts in Sweden are a lot tamer than here in the States. I didn't see one person crowd surfing, for example.

Poor Siryn, due to her height, was getting pressed on and crushed by the party goers around us, so, Fieldstar, Shrike and I managed to herd Torak into a circle, then the four of us surrounded Siryn to keep her protected from the crush.

It worked in an interesting manner, but, ultimately, it worked.

We kept the crowds off of Siryn and we kept Torak off the crowds. Sympatico you might say.

We eventually made it back to Shrike's Mom's house after Torak made his escape from us. All in all, it was a fun evening.

It's now Saturday, the last day of the festival. We head into the city and then over to Torak's, as per normal.

Torak and Jim decide to make some Absynthe drinks. I reluctantly try one, then decide I don't like it. Or maybe that happened on Friday. I don't really recall anymore.

Anyway, we did our usual drinking, then went out into the city. We stopped by a friend of Torak's house, where I decided to spike my orange juice (my sniffle had become a cold) with some, surprise, surprise, vodka! After a little while, we went on to the concert.

At the gate, I had the orange juice in my hand. The security guy looked at it (no alcohol allowed to be brought in, btw), then asked me what was in it (as iff the big orange on the side didn't give it away).

Me: "Orange juice."
Him: "Anything else?"
Me: "Nope." (I lied, so sue me.)
Him: "I need to smell it. Do you mind?"
Me: "Nope. Go ahead."

I hand it to him, he takes a whiff.

Him: "Okay. Have a nice evening." (he hands the OJ back to me)
Me: "Thanks!"

As I get into the venue, I just started laughing my ass off. I handed it to Fieldstar, who takes a whiff and announces "I can't even smell orange juice in that! Just the vodka!"

Wheee!

It was a bit more subdued evening. We stuck to the side of the concert this time, Torak disappeared early, then the remaining four of us eventually went back to Shrike's Mom's place again.

It's Sunday. My last full day in Sweden.

We went into town to do some shopping. My Mom wanted a "Swedish teapot" and I was looking for other little keep sakes I could get, which culminated in getting these 2' long plastic shoe horns from Ikea. Which were made in Spain. Oh, well.

We were wandering around downtown, looking at different places. Fieldstar and I had moved on ahead of Shrike and Siryn while on the way up to Torak's place and had taken a break to wait for them to catch up.

While we were sitting there I was lamenting about not being able to find this damn tea pot. That's when I noticed the place across the street. It didn't register immediately because it was in swedish, but it finally dawned on me.

An antique shop!

I went in and sure enough they had a collection of tea pots. I bought one for about $100. My Mom loved it when I gave it to her, by the way.

So, with that out of the way, we went up to Torak's for a while, then returned to Shrike's Mom's house for dinner - she wanted to make us something.

All in all it was a nice, leisurely day of doing nothing. I believe Fieldstar even bought a copy of Kingpins and we watched it that evening.

We ultimately got to bed early, then the next morning we hit the road (with me driving) to Stockholm so I could catch my flight home. Fieldstar drove the rest of the way to Linköping, then he drove himself home to Malmö, several more hours to the south.

My flight was uneventful, except for a baby SCREAMING FOR EIGHT HOURS!!!!

So much for sleeping on the way. It sucked.

On the good side, S. was picking me up from the airport shuttle, so, I had that to look forward to.

More on that in the next installment...

And I'm Leaving, On a Jet Plane (Pt. 1)

2005-11-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

As promised, I'll start updating. I'll pick up from where I left off.

The following weekend was the party at Christian's. I invited S. to come up on Friday after work and spend the weekend. We'd go to Christian's on Saturday, then either spend the night at his place or back at mine. On Friday night, we were on the couch late together. One thing lead to another, but it didn't go "all the way". We did sleep in the same bed that night, though. It was really nice to have someone beside me again. Particularly with someone who likes to cuddle and doesn't complain about my arm wrapped around them.

The next day we went to Christian's. Had fun. Christian made us play pool with him before we left. He was so trashed he didn't even notice how bad we were cheating. We got back to my place and just went to sleep that night. The next morning she had to head home and I had to head to Maryland, but, it was a very nice weekend together before that.

Did a crabcake run on the day I came back from Maryland. Traffic was HORRIBLE. 7 hours to do a trip which normally takes me 4 hours, loaded with $1000 worth of crabcakes in the seat behind me and several thousand dollars worth of hardware, which proceeded to scrape up the back of my car. More on that in another blog.

Eventually got back to the office around 7 that night, then just went over to S.'s place. We made some of the crabcakes for dinner (there were 6 of us for dinner), then S. and I vegged on the couch for a while afterward. Left there late, went home and got some sleep.

The next day at work was uneventful. Got my ducks in a row and prepped everything for vacation. Went out with S. again that night. Went shopping for some jeans for Fieldstar's kids, then back to her place where we had dinner with Mom. Nice evening.

Friday I came by the office to make sure everything was cool, then S. dropped me off at the Park and Ride to head to the airport. Didn't really want to leave her.

I packed HEAVY for Sweden. Two bags, a garment bag and my laptop. Took a pill and drank a beer before getting on the plane, hoping it would knock me out - no go.

Spent 7.5 hours being drowsy and not able to sleep. Ended up in an aisle (I prefer the window - gives me something to rest my head against) about 6 rows from the bathroom. High traffic. Blech.

The chicken meal on the plane sucked. Gave me bad gas pains. Went through that for 6 hours before getting to Stockholm. When I got my bags, I couldn't leave them to use the facilities, so I sat in agony until Torak showed up.

We recognized each other immediately.

We killed some time at a coffee house at the airport before getting on the train to Stockholm proper. Once we got to Stockholm, we had to find the right train to take us to Linköping (pronounced something like "lin shau ping"). Then the fun began from the sleep deprivation.

I had the garment bag strapped to my large suitcase. I needed to stow the case up above, but there was no space above Torak and me, so I went to put it across the aisle. This is where the sleep deprivation really started to kick in. As I'm heaving it up (with the garment bag strapped to it), my hands are full. And it is heavy. And the woman I'm right behind has no clue that certain death is lingering over her head.

Luckily, only the garment bag swung free and REPEATEDLY HIT HER IN THE HEAD! All I could do was keep saying "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Oh, God, I'm sorry!" because I couldn't let go of the suitcase without crushing her under it. Reminder that I'm in Sweden speaking in English here.

I finally got it into place (while getting many, many dirty looks from her - can't say I blame her), then sat back down with Torak. A little bit later, I realized I could use the restroom finally. Even though my colon was back under control, my bladder really needed some release, so, into the bathroom I went.

Couldn't figure out the damn lock on the door. I fiddled with it for a minute before I finally shrugged and hoped I had done it right so I could relieve myself.

I was just about to zipper up when a woman opened the door, stared at me wide eyed, then quickly closed the door again.

I was so tired at this point I just shrugged and started chuckling to myself.

The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful. We got to Linköping a little while later where we met up with Siryn, Shrike and Fieldstar. It sounds odd, but it's a great feeling to meet friends for the first time. I've known these people for years without actually meeting. It's a wonderful experience.

We went back to Shrike's place where we got to know each other in person and started drinking beer. We eventually got up and went into the town proper to find dinner. We ended up at this place which was really hot and the service was slow. Torak had only had 2 hours of sleep before flying to Stockholm and I was over the 30 hour mark myself, so, we're all waiting and the two of us were nodding off.

After dinner, we all played in a fountain (someone [not us] had thrown a bottle of dish liquid in it) and ran around acting like idiots. It was around 11 PM at this point. For those who have never been in the northern climes, it is a bit odd to have that much light at night. The darkest it ever got all week was a kind of twilight - around 3 in the morning. We walked back to Shrike's place, where we drank some more beer, then I went to sleep.

The next morning (morning is a relative term, btw - it became whenever we all got up, which was typically around 2 or 3 in the afternoon at the end of the week) we walked into town again to pick up a few groceries, then we started drinking again. I arranged to meet an old friend of mine who lives in Linköping from when I used to play NannyMUD, Brom.

The five of us killed some time throughout the day, then went into town to meet up with Brom. We went to a sushi restaurant (I ate raw fish and kind of liked it - weird) then to a theater and watched Sin City. It was a little odd for me at first - they were speaking in English but the subtitles were in Swedish.

By the end of the movie I realized how "American" I am. Particularly with the violence. Torak and I were laughing at the violence because it was so exaggerated and, yes, fun. We were the only ones in the theater really enjoying it on that level.

After the movie we bid farewell to Brom, then Shrike needed to head off to work - poor bastard.

He works in a yoghurt factory.
On second shift.
As a taste tester.

Poor bastard.

Well, the four of us that remained (Torak, Siryn, Fieldstar and myself) went to the bar next door where I drank a few white russians and the others drank their drinks of choice. When they were closing we went to this other bar next door. They had some gambling downstairs and a pool table.

Torak, for all his skills as a dealer at a casino, really sucked at playing the odds. I gave him money and he lost that too.

That's okay - I love him.

Did I mention that I named him as an Honorary American while we were buying movie tickets? He likes violence, so, what the hell.

Siryn and I started playing pool, then Fieldstar joined us. These guys came in and started hitting on Siryn. I noticed her distress, then the four of us migrated upstairs to drink some more.

We got toasty.
I wore lipstick.
I kissed the guys on the cheeks.
Siryn got hit on again.

At that point, I rounded up the guys and we left to call a cab.

While waiting for the cab, I stole a poster for a band.

Hey, it's cheap (as in free to me), somewhat easy to transport and it's something I can have fun with.

So, the four of us head back to Shrike's place, all of us drunk, and having one hell of a night.

When we got in, we were hungry, so, we ate, had a couple more beers, then off to bed.

It's now Monday morning - 7 AM. There's construction behind Shrike's place. They've started working. I'm sleeping in the same room with Fieldstar who snores like he's sawing through a log. Luckily, we're both exhausted, so, we just dose back off to the sound of jackhammers.

When we finally got up we cleaned ourselves up and head into town for some lunch then some shopping. Things are actually a lot more expensive than in the US, which surprised me. The day was mostly uneventful.

After Shrike left for work (again, poor bastard) the rest of us made some kind of mashed potatoes and ate herring.

Okay. I liked the sushi the other day. I didn't like the herring.

Oh, well.

The next day, (Tuesday, July 5 for those who want to know) was my brother's birthday.

But, enough about him.

This was another day of not doing much. We went to see Gamla Linköping (Old Linköping), but everything was closed. So, we went to a coffee shop. I recorded everyone saying "We hate the USA." It was pretty funny.

Guess you had to be there.

Anyway, we didn't do much that day.

On Wednesday we drove to Sundsvall. It was a long, long drive.

And Torak got us lost. Had us going west instead of north for an hour.

And now, my fingers are cramping and I'm tired of typing. I guess I'll write some more tomorrow.

Night, night.

Quick update...

2005-11-02T10:32:00.000-05:00

Ex called me back a few minutes ago to ask if I had called her. Chatted for a minute, then hung up.

She just called me again - Chrissy died while we were on the phone.

I'll get a box and bury her next to Malaclypse in my parents' yard.

Sorry...

2005-11-02T09:46:00.000-05:00

I know. I've been gone a while. My last post was back in June - its the beginning of November now.

So much has happened, so much has changed.

This will be a quick update. I'll try to continue to flesh out the details in the coming days. Here we go:

S. came up on Friday. Things progressed from there. 'Nuff said.

Went to Christian's the next day as a couple. Our first outing with friends. It was nice. Ex called me - she was a bit peeved that I didn't really want to talk to her while I was at the party with S.

Went to our Columbia data center the next day. Dismantled the last of our stuff, then loaded up the trucks to haul it up to our main data center. I put some of the stuff in the back of my car, which then proceeded to scratch the hell out of my hatchback cover. I'm still trying to get my company to pay for it.

Went to Sweden. Met Siryn, Shrike, Fieldstar and Erucolindo there. We had a ball. We went to the Sundsvall Gatu Fest - I puked at it twice from drinking so much.

Got home. S. took off work that Monday to spend it with me and drove up Sunday night. We made love the first time that night. I told her I love her before we did - she told me she loves me too. :)

S. & I became inseperable.

Her Mom instituted a "No Sleepover On School Nights" rule. It was abandoned a week later when she got lonely.

S. & I made plans to go to Cancun in November. The resort (Xpu Ha Palace) was supposed to open November 1st after suffering damages from Hurricane Emily. As soon as I booked them, literally, they changed the opening date to December 1. I then changed the reservations to December.

S. & I got closer and closer. I took her to meet my parents for my birthday in September. They love her.

Got word that Xpu Ha won't be opening December 1st as planned, so, I changed the reservations to the Cozumel Palace instead. We hadn't booked airfare yet, so, it wasn't that big of a deal, except we really liked the first place better.

Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf, making the gas prices skyrocket, which made airfare sky rocket, so, we sat on getting airfare a while longer.

S. & I are now looking for a house together.

At work they put us under a new director, a real kiss ass. Our VP knew of existing personality conflicts within the department with this individual, but he still promoted him over us. Since then 2 techs have left and a third is going to be leaving shortly - he just hasn't announced it yet.

The company is going down the tubes fast.

Hurricane Wilma hit. It parked on Cozumel. The Cozumel Palace is closed until further notice. We're cancelling the trip and we'll figure something else out.

S. & I have slept in the same bed every night save 5 (1 where we each had stuff to do at our own places, 2 nights when we were at my parents' house [they're very conservative] and 2 nights when I went to my parents' house without her for reasons I can't disclose at this time) since Labor Day. We're effectively living together in two houses. We spend a few days at mine, then a few days at hers. Most of her stuff has moved to my place.

We were staying at her place a week or two ago. When we got up in the morning, her carpet was soaked. The North East has had a lot of rain lately, so, we thought it was flooding and coming up through cracks in the floor (her bedroom is in the basement). Just before we left for work, I checked in the adjoining room, and sure enough, the hot water heater was leaking. I stayed there when the guy replaced it that evening.

Turns out her Mom hasn't been too happy with her boyfriend for a while. He was there that day on vacation from work, but he didn't stick around to help with the heater. She read him the riot act a couple nights later. Apparently she really likes me because I'm willing to help out around the house and the like, which has really pissed her off with respect to her boy friend. They've been together for 11 years and engaged for the last 5 or 6. They each have their own homes and neither is willing to sell. We'll see what happens there.

On Saturday, S. & I went to a costume party at Jeff's. There weren't a lot of people there, but it was fun. We stayed for a few hours, then went home (her place). We went as White Trash. I got a mullet wig at Target to really set it all off and she did her hair up big.

On Sunday, Ex was in a bad car accident. Her SUV was struck in the front from a car in the fast lane, then she was hit from behind, putting her into a spin. Witnesses reported the vehicle flipped 2 or 3 times. Miraculously, she only suffered a concussion, a sprained pinky and some scratched from asphalt on her left arm. She's now going through hoops to get back at her vehicle to get her stuff. It's probable totalled.

I just got off the phone with Ex. Apparently, one of her parakeets, the first one we got together shortly after getting married, Chrissy, is dying. She's stretched out on the bottom of her cage. Our second parakeet, Malaclypse, went the same way. When it rains, it pours.

I'll post updates in the coming days.

Is this love that I'm feeling?

2005-06-19T20:11:00.000-04:00

I left the DR site around 4:30 in the morning. Got home and into bed by 5:30.

At 11:30 I got up when the Helpdesk called. Was only up for a few minutes, then I laid back down. Then, I had a feeling I should just get up and get to work cleaning.

Man, am I glad I did!

I called S. around 2:30 - she was still at the wedding banquet, hoping to get home around 4. She's call me then.

Okay, got more cleaning done.

I've started getting a little vengeful in my cleaning. I threw out a wreath that was at my wedding. I threw out the bride and groom from my wedding cake. I threw out some keepsakes from Ex and I. I'm ready to move on now. I've got anotehr 4 or 5 boxes in front of my house now, including old sheets, clothes, buttloads of the Ex's candles (she should seek help she has so many damn candles), the aforementioned items and various pieces of junk.

I was actually able to vaccuum my living room! It hasn't been really vaccuumed in 9 or 10 months! The living room actually looks clean!

I got laundry done AND folded! My kitchen table isn't piled over with clothes now. My sink doesn't have dirty dishes in it. My stove doesn't have dirty pans on it.

My house is actually starting to look presentable!

Which, again, IS A GOOD THING!

S. called me back at 4:45 - she got stuck and couldn't leave for a while.

S.: "So, what you wanna do? Want me to come up there?"
Me: "Uhhh...I can come down there."
S.: "Well, I feel guilty because you're alway stuck driving home at night.
Me: "Okay."
S.: "How do I get there?"
Me: "Ummm..."

Took a while until I figured out a place we could meet. I live in the middle of nowhere. I tell people I live at the corner of Podunk and Bumblef---. Eventually arranged to get together at 6 at a Park and Ride right off the highway.

I hang up the phone.

Me: "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!"

I then went into hypercleaning mode, running around the house, making sure everything was put away. Left the house at 5:40, and still beat her to the Park and Ride. Got her on the phone and talked her in since she wasn't familiar with the area.

For the record, I live 35 miles from the office. She lives 5 miles from the office, in the other direction.

When she got there, she got out of the car and we just kissed.

Have I mentioned before that I really like kissing her?

She followed me back to my place so we could stash her car then go out for dinner. Gave her a quick tour of the house (not much to see), and kissed some more.

Went to a local place named Loughrans. HUGE Prime Rib there. We sat on the patio, enjoying the break in the heat and humidity that's been sitting on the North East for the last couple weeks. After dinner we walked over to my car so I could put my leftovers in it and she could have a cigarette. We held hands on the way over, then kissed a little more, then went back in to the restaurant to the bar.

We sat there, talking, holding hands, touching each other on the legs, just revelling in our closeness.

At one point, I got up to use the restroom. When I came back a guy is there talking to her.

S.: "He thinks I have an Irish accent!"
Me: "Irish? That's Jersey!"
Drunk Cassanova: "Really? I don't hear it."

It continued like this for a while, until he finally got the clue that she was spoken for and he went back to drinking and waiting for his friends to show up.

Once more, a local is there with a guitar. I'll give it to the guy that he's got guts. His voice wasn't the greatest and he forgot one song halfway through - twice. Even his friends and girlfriend were harrassing him. Quite funny to watch. Drunk Cassanova was among them.

S. and I eventually left the restaurant around 11:00. Once again, we kissed in the parking lot before heading back to my place.

Once there, I invited her in for a while. I put Breakfast at Tiffany's into the DVD player (her copy, her favorite movie, remember?), then we sat on the couch together.

A little making out at the beginning, then eventually she laid down with her legs across me. I just kept patting and stroking her legs (she was wearing jeans, for those who are interested) and holding her hand. Eventually settled down to having my ond hand on her belly while the other played with her legs.

We spent the entire movie like that. Just sitting there, content to be in each other's presence.

Once it was over, I got off the couch and kneeled down beside her to kiss her. We were like that for so long that my back was cramping up! I tried a half hearted attempt to feel her breast - no resistance, but I didn't want to push it.

We played a little bit with french kissing. Her tongue tastes sweet. :)

If I had continued, I'm pretty sure we would have made love last night. Unfortunately, there were four things at work here counter to that avenue:

She's tired.

I'm tired

I'm afraid of pushing things too fast.

I didn't have any condoms.

She eventually got up to smoke a cigarette. I repositioned on the couch, and when she came in she laid down on it with me, resting her head on my chest. We laid there for the next 1.5 hours, with me stroking her hair, cheek and arms, occasionally kissing her forehead, cheek or lips, while she snuggled in close with me.

At 2:30:

Me: "Sleepyhead, why don't you go sleep in my bed? I'll sleep here on the couch."
S.: "Nuh uh." (translation for those not familiar with Americanisms - "No.")
Me: "Yuh huh." (translation - "Yes.")
S.: "Okay."

We continued to lay there like that until 3:00, when she finally tried to sit up to go have another cigarette. I had to prop her up, she was so tired. lol

A bit more kissing, then into the night she went to have her nicotine fix. Meanwhile, I did a quick run through of the bedroom, straightened the bed, grabbed my pajama bottoms and a blanket then made sure everything was out of the way.

When she came in, I led her back to the bedroom, where she pretty much just flopped on the bed. I offered to set the alarm for her (she was supposed to be at a restaurant with her sister, brother and father at 1 in the afternoon), but she said she'd wake up.

She then got up and we kissed some more. Then some more. Then some more.

S.: "Okay! Get out!"

Out I went. Went to the bathroom, put on the pajama bottoms, then crashed on the couch.

Slept okay. Woke up at 8. At 8:30 the Helpdesk called me on my cell (thank Jeebus) for a store. So, off I puttered into the computer room to take care of it. She got up about 15 minutes later. Apparently she had slept off and on since 6, afraid she'd oversleep. lol

She should have let me set the alarm.

She went out for another smoke and I brushed my teeth. Told her I had another toothbrush if she wanted to use it.

S.: "God, yes!"

When she was done she came out with the toothbrush to take it home with her. I told her to just leave it there for next time - no complaints. :)

We went out to a local diner for breakfast - service was horrible, but it gave us time to just sit there and stare into space from lack of sleep and enjoyment of being together.

Next Saturday we're going to Christian's house for a party for his birthday. I asked her if she wanted to come up on Friday, then we can head to Christian's place together on Saturday. A hearty agreement.

After breakfast, I walked her to her car, then we proceeded to kiss some more.

In the parking lot.

At 10 in the morning.

Next to a busy road.

I am so totally losing myself in this girl.

So, off we went to our respective homes.

I was planning on mowing the lawn today, but I kind of just sat in front of the TV and vegged until 2. Finally got up and took a shower, then went to Best Buy to get a new DVD player. My old one fried and I had my spare one rigged up yesterday.

Stopped by Target, too. Got some new luggage for my Sweden trip and some CONDOMS!

I've spent the rest of the day hooking up the DVD and trying to program my universal remote. Finally have it all working.

At one point I wrote up some directions and sent them to S. for how to get to my house for Friday. Turns out she was on, playing solitaire.

She's addicted to it.

So, we've been trading emails while I've been writing this, and Nynaeve has been HARRASSING me to get this finished!

I'm almost done, Nyn - I swear.

Tomorrow we're going out for Mexican food. Still need to figure out if we'll meet there or at her place. I'll probably swing by her place since I'm not 100% sure where it is.

I wonder if I should take some condoms with me...

It’s my heart that pounds beneath my flesh

2005-06-18T02:05:00.000-04:00

It's after 2 AM. I'm sitting in the IBM Disaster Recovery center in Sterling Forest, New York. I'm bored. I've been here since 9 AM this morning. I've had about 2 hours worth of work to do all day long with relation to this test. I've burned time playing cards, emailing S. and some chatting with some friends.

Bored, bored, bored.

I miss being with S. Monday and Tuesday were nice to spend with her. The rest of this week has been agony, with me only able to talk to her face to face for a few minutes each day, the rest taken up by emails. Can't really bullshit too long at her desk either. Luckily, it looks like tomorrow may be a bit of relief.

The wedding she's attending is at 11 AM. She's skipping the reception, but apparently it's a damn long wedding...she said she should be free around 4 PM.

Yippee!

I'll give her a call when I get up, then we'll arrange getting together on Saturday evening. Her Father isn't available until 3 on Sunday. If his schedule frees up earlier, we may get together on Sunday as well.

I just crave to be in her presence. I want to touch her. To kiss her and to hold her.

It's been a weird day. While I've been exchanging emails with S., my Ex has been sitting next to me - she's involved in this Disaster Recovery test as well. And Chris is just plain nosey, popping his head in next to me to see what I'm doing, which is usually exchanging an email with S.

I copied all of the emails between S. and I into a folder the other day. The total count in that folder is now 316. We started emailing each other occasionally on April 29. 4 emails exchanged that day. The next was on May 5 - 13 exchanged. We really started exchanging June 9 - 32 emails that day! It's just an ongoing conversation throughout the day.

What? You ask how many were sent today?

Why, I'm glad you asked - FIFTY-TWO!

That's a lot of emails of just random chit chat. Just talking about work, how our days are going and relations with our family members.

Once we're face to face, we just continue to chat about everything under the sun. It's a very natural conversation, which is very nice. Lately there's been the "uncomfortable silence" moments, but they only last 15 to 30 seconds. They usually end with us looking at each other and we start to giggle.

I love that when I kiss her, she makes a happy noise.

I loaned her my copy of Love Actually to watch. It's my favorite movie (Thank's Siryn!). She loaned me hers - Breakfast at Tiffany's. I watched it last night. It was actually quite charming. Emailed back and forth a little bit about that today.

Maybe we'll just camp in front of her TV tomorrow and watch Love Actually together - I'd like that a lot.

You've got to work hard if you want anything at all

2005-06-15T20:47:00.000-04:00

Another hectic day at work.

Chris' idea for getting the equipment into the environment appears to have worked with our test server. Tomorrow I get to do it 5 more times. Also need to finish some code for the stores.

I've been working on rebuilding a store's disks for the last 4.5 hours. It's now almost 9 PM, and my ass is TIRED.

The planned outing with S. on Sunday is possibly dead, or at least cut down to just the evening. Forgot it was Father's Day. My Dad is 300 miles away. Her's is a few towns over. Her and her sister were planning on taking him out for lunch around 1. She tried calling her to verify everything today once I brought it up to her, and the response was quite funny (to me, anyway):

S.: "I hate talking to her. She is a complete bitch."
Me: "What happened?"
S.: "We were trying to figure out Sunday and it has to be her way because she's coming home and she thinks that she's a guest. We're battling over times, locations, etc. Then she called me a bitch for getting annoyed. The longest 13 minute conversation I have had in a while."

For the record, her sister lives in NYC, but stows her crap at the house S. and their mother share. The city is maybe 30 minutes away on a Sunday.

That's about it for today. Not much to add except I'm tired and a little sore from sitting in this damn chair all day long.

Until the morrow...

Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling?

2005-06-14T23:59:00.000-04:00

Work was a bit of a pain today. Continued trying to get the stuff integrated into the environment. Going to try another approach tomorrow. Of course, the good side is that it let me pretty much write off the last two hours today.

Sent S. an email this morning giving her some artists to check out on our (my Department's) MP3 server, a link to a movie of Richard Simmons on Who's Line Is It Anyway? (very, very funny) and some other stuff.

The response I got?

"I think I'm dead."

LOL

She's not too good on operating short on sleep, at least, not until the afternoon.

Just got back from another marathon date. Met her at her place just after 5 - actually got to go in today before we left. She drove and we went over to a town called Piermont in New York on the Hudson. Ate at a place called the Lighthouse. For the price they charge, you'd think you'd get more to the portions.

Good thing I'm dieting.

Ended up migrating over to the bar (as usual). We actually sat outside this evening. Neither of us are Sun Worshipers, and we both burn easily in it, particularly her (she's Irish, and the skin shows it). The weather has also been hot and humid for the last couple weeks. Makes dating interesting when all you do is go for dinner each night.

Next thing you know, it's 11 PM. Another 6 hour date. Went back to her place. Kissed in the car. I got out, then decided I wanted another kiss. JA (her Mom, remember?) was at the door - gave her a kiss anyway, then she invited me in to say "Hi".

Alrightie.

Went in, talked to JA for a minute, then S. took me out back to show me their deck. This thing is HUGE. There's a stone work patio, then a lower deck, connected to a middle deck, then a top deck connecting to the kitchen. Her father built it 11 or 12 years ago. It looks awesome.

Each time we go out, we seem to push the comfort level a little further between us. While standing out on the deck, I put my arm around her and she leaned into me while I did it. Kept just kissing each other while out there.

Said it before and I'll say it again - I can definately fall in love with this woman and I think it's starting to happen already.

My Mom has me a bit scared, though. She pointed out to me that I seem to be in love with being in love. It's a very good point, however, with S. there really is just so many things pointing at "This is Miss Right".

We can talk for hours, just drifting from one story to the next.

We both enjoy the same sense of humor.

She's a great kisser, and she seems to think I am too.

We both crack our joints, and we compete to see who can get them to crack the loudest. I know, it sounds gross, but it's actually very reassurring to find someone as disgusting as me. For the record, she usually wins.

She's accident prone like I am.

She's tall like I am. I've mentioned before how I *love* tall women.

Salad dressing - ranch.

Sushi - no thanks.

Veggies - they're decoration.

Religion - whatever.

She's open minded and accepting of things different from the norm.

She's an organized slob like me. Everything in it's pile.

Not really antisocial, but sometimes just likes to be alone.

She likes the Violent Femmes.

She likes to cook - so do I.

On the 25th, we're supposed to go to a party at Christian's house. I'm going to suggest that she comes up on the 24th (a Friday) and crash at my house since Christian is another hour or so north of me. She can take my bed, I'll take the couch. I'll actually stick to that plan, too. Though, I'll obviously be planning for other things if they should happen...

I presented the idea for this Sunday. She thought it was a good plan, so, we're all set. I'll offer the above mentioned sleeping arrangements then. I've got a few nights at home now to finish getting it presentable.

Stay tuned...

Let's make this last for ever...

2005-06-14T00:33:00.000-04:00

Spent the weekend cleaning. It was a total hell hole. Well, it still is, but there's not as much hell involved. I hauled out so much shit to the road for garbage pickup, I didn't expect them to take it all at once. Surprisingly, they did.

The upstairs of my house, which I've practically abandoned, is starting to get straightened up. I have exercise equipment up there which I've been dying to use, but I haven't had the space. That's slowly changing.

I'm obviously cleaning for multiple reasons.

Yes, I hope S. would like to come by one day.

The place needs cleaning.

I want to move next year, so, I better start weeding now.

Went out with S. again tonight. We went out for lunch as well. This evening's dinner was supposed to be a quick thing so she could get home. It became a 7 hour chat time. We love to talk to each other. I take that as a very good sign.

I'm going to take her out again tomorrow night after work, then I won't see her until Sunday (if I can arrange that) because of conflicts in our schedules. She's got a doctor's appointment Wednesday evening for her eyes, then Thursday she's going out with a friend. Friday and Saturday I'm tied up with work, and she's got a wedding to go to on Saturday as well. So, that leaves Sunday. I'm going to suggest a casual dating thing. Just wear shorts, t-shirts and sneakers. I'll need to figure out something to do, though. In any case, I think it'll be fun to just get a pizza, wander around and get to see each other outside of work and outside of a restaurant/bar.

Yes, for those wondering, we kissed in the parking lot before we went our seperate ways tonight. I told her I really like kissing her. She enjoyed me telling her that.

Work's been a royal pain in the ass. Since Tom is in France, Christian and I have been covering the stores. Well, Christian has and I've been acting as backup. I'm also still trying to get the moved equipment working in our environment.

I'm a good programmer. I'm a horrible system administrator.

The helpdesk has the lovely timing to start calling me at 4:40 in the evening - I'm supposed to leave at 4:45, and now that S. and I are seeing each other right after work, it's gotten pretty damn important that I leave on time. I was supposed to meet her right after work today - I didn't get off the phone until after 5:00. They started calling me at the restaurant, but I just didn't bother answering.

I've put in enough of my personal and after hours time. It's time to cash in.

Just remembered a funny thing S. told me about her Mom, JA. Apparently, JA likes Eminem. Every time S. gets into her car, Eminem starts blaring. JA is in her 50's, but she's a pisser. She's great. I hope I see her tomorrow so I can give her some shit about it.

Also want to find out (if she knows) what S's favorite flowers are.

Lie down next to me, look into my eyes

2005-06-11T03:53:00.000-04:00

I've had a WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!

But, first, back to yesterday...

S. and I traded emails all day long, starting with a message from her: "FYI: I survived." Talked about her newfound perfect eyesite - it weirded her out a little bit. Talked about a band that she likes that I'm listening to for her. Some mild flirtation intermixed.

Worked on integrating the equipment.

Last night I sent her an email asking if she'd be going to her usual Friday happy hour.

This morning I started working on the environment some more, then traded a few emails with S.

No, she was not going to her usual tonight. So, I asked her if she wanted to get some dinner when I got off work. Arranged to pick her up at her house, and I drove us to the mall.

Went to Dave and Buster's for some dinner, then we decided to go watch the new Adam Sandler movie, The Longest Yard.

Didn't really afford anything, except the ability to sit next to each other.

After the movie, we returned to the bar at Dave and Buster's, where we stayed until closing time. I drove her home, then got my copy of Love Actually out of the car to loan her. She got out of the car, we stood there for a second, then we kissed.

It was niiiiiiice. I liked it a lot. We stood there for a couple minutes, just kissing and hugging each other.

A perfect ending to the evening.

For my whole ride home, I was yipping for joy.

Woo hoo! I've got a girlfriend who I'm absolutely crazy for.

WOOOO HOOOOOO!

It's been a hard days night...

2005-06-08T18:06:00.000-04:00

Last night was rough. Tossed and turned until 3:30 or 4:00 - don't quite remember which. Alarm went off at 6:50...kept snoozing until 7:45 or something. I dunno...been in a fog all day long.

Had a nice surprise when I got into work though - an email from S. including her cell phone number for me. Whee!

Turns out she didn't sleep too well either. Either going out with me freaked her out as much as it did me, or she's really worried about her surgery today. Exchanged emails for a while, then she decided to head back to bed for a while.

Spent the rest of the day in the computer room trying to get that equipment up and running. Took a break to go to a local place to get a salad with some of my coworkers though.

I finished my food quickly, then sat, and sat, and sat...

I sat so long my (newfound) balls fell asleep!

Ladies, lemme tell you, it is a really, REALLY awkward feeling.

The guys in my department were somewhat merciful to me this morning. Just enough ribbing to let them have some fun, then they backed off. Which is fine with me.

To sleep, perchance to dream...ahhh...

Just spent the last hour on the phone with my Mom, going over the family tree. Just found a line that is traced back to Germany around 1707.

I'm gonna clean up some of the house now, then I'm going to go to bed. Maybe tonight will be a better night than I've had in the last week.

I cannot be, Until you're resting here with me

2005-06-07T23:41:00.000-04:00

Man, what a day.

Got into the office around 9. Checked my email (1500+ messages courtesy of Chris), reviewed a few tasks, then unloaded the stuff from my car.

Finally got around to stopping by S's desk. Talked to her for 10 - 15 minutes. Chickened out.

As the day went on, the truck from Maryland finally arrived. Helped unload it, then position the stuff on the floor. Swung by S's desk a few times - she wasn't there.

2:00 - I'm all set to wire in the new racks when Chris tells me I gotta wait for IBM to get on site. Gah. So, I head down to S. again.

She's there this time. I talk to her for 30 minutes. I'm just going "ask her, ask her, ask her", but, again, I chicken out.

IBM gets on site. We unpack the servers and turn them on.

I stop by S's desk a couple more times - not there. Third time, she is. It's 4:05. She leaves at 4:15. We small talk for a minute. Then, suddenly, my balls drop:

"Wanna have dinner tonight?"
"Sure."

<FREAKOUT MODE>

HOLY SHIT! HOLY CRAP! JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK! OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!

</FREAKOUT MODE\>

After some wrangling, we finally decide on a place, to meet at 5.

<FREAKOUT MODE>

I immediately retreated to Jay's cube, where Ex is as well. I just drop on the floor, hyperventilating, and pulled my legs up around me.

Then I space out, trying to calm down.

Talk with them for a while, then I head up to Mike's desk.

While sitting there, my legs would not stop bouncing, full nervousness engaged.

I finally got back to my desk, where I saw I had messages.

</FREAKOUT MODE>

"Store is screwed. Call the Tech."
"Freddie - have you seen about that store?"
"Christian said to pass it to you."

It's 4:45 at this point...

I quickly called the tech, called Christian, sent an email to the desk, spoke to my boss. Then, I told everyone "LEAVE ME ALONE TONIGHT!"

Surprisingly, they did.

Met her at 5. Walked in together. She got stuffed sole, I got filet mignon (only the best). Sat and chatted for a while at the table, then eventually migrated over to the bar.

I love these marathon sessions - 6 hours again tonight. 5:00 to 11:00. We walked out together, and after a moment of hesitation, we kissed each other on the cheek.

I so, SO, badly want to kiss her...but, it was nice to be able to kiss her cheek and to hug her, just to feel her in my arms.

Very nice feeling.

Just before I left, I hopped out of my car and gave her my cell number, "in case she needed some assistance over the next few days."

For once, I was able to push through the cowardice and get all of my objectives achieved today.

I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY!!!!!!!

16 tons, What do you get?

2005-06-06T22:48:00.000-04:00

Just got back from Maryland, so, I figured I'd update the blog since I didn't get a chance to do it yesterday.

Last night I went to bed at 9:30 at my parents - tossed and turned, as is usual this week, then woke up at 6:30 - the alarm was set for 7. Well, 9 hours is a lot better than the 6 I've been getting, even if it wasn't the most restful.

Had to pack up a couple of server racks today from the datacenter. It's so depressing to go there. Only two guys there during the day now - there used to be 9 or 10. At the end of this month, I take the last of my department's equipment out, then the rest of the equipment will be gone by the end of July.

That's it. All gone.

So, I repeat. How depressing.

Stopped by my brother's house to look at his PC. He said he was having some problem with GMail - I was able to log into it perfectly fine. I installed VNC on it so I can pop in and take a look the next time he's reporting a problem. Should be interesting the first time we use it to walk him through starting it up.

Major storms went through the area today. The last 4.5 hours have been spent driving through them. If I wasn't already tired, this would do it. Hopefully I'll sleep well tonight.

Emailed S. a little bit today. She doesn't really have anything planned tomorrow night - hopefully I should be able to take her out for dinner. On Wednesday she's having Lasik surgery (laser eye correction), so, she'll be out from work for the rest of the week. If I can finagle it, I'll try to arrange something for Friday as well. Going to use this as a ploy to give her my cell number in an innocent way.

"Since your Mom won't be around after dropping you back home after the surgery, here's my cell if you'll need anything."

I'll let you all know tomorrow how it goes.

Breathing Deeply, Walking Backwards, Finding Strength to Call and Ask Her

2005-06-04T23:06:00.000-04:00

Just got home from the party.

Michelle, who is one of the people who went to Cancun, left the company a couple of weeks ago, and is now working with Jeff, my roomie in Cancun. The party this evening was for her.

I took all the booze with me to this one too. We were making pitchers of Miami Vices (half strawberry daiquari, half pina colada) and everyone had a nice time. Didn't run too late because the hosts (Lynn & Lee) have two small children in the house.

I only had a couple of drinks all night - I'm pooped.

I woke up this morning at 6 AM. I went to bed at midnight. No alarm involved.

I've been having sleeping problems all week. Tomorrow I need to drive for 4 hours to my parents' house in Maryland. I definately need to sleep tonight. Just watch and see that tonight is the night I just crash, and I'll wake up at noon tomorrow.

Spent the time this morning finally finishing working with everyone's photos from the Cancun trip, putting them up on my home web site - sorry, not advertising the link here. I'd rather not have my home server get hammered. If you want the link, ask me.

In other news, been thinking about S. all day. Our relationship appears to be at a very awkward point at the moment because of the dating game.

Her side: Does he like me? Is he interested?
His side: Does she like me? Is she interested?

You can't just ask people these things in normal society - it's not polite. Which leads to lots of stress and awkward situations. For example, I have no reason to know her home/cell number *unless* we were dating. We work in the same building, but we don't work together. Completely different branches of the company. This leads to the situation of where I can't call her just to talk, or to ask her out for dinner, or just to hang out, or whatever.

Can't wait until I'm back in the office on Tuesday, when I'll get to see and talk to her again. I'll try asking her out for dinner.

That's officially a date, right?

Working in the coal mine, doing my time

2005-06-03T22:29:00.000-04:00

Today was an exhausted day.

After getting home late last night, and getting up early this morning, I was just gone.

Then, on top of it, had a HUGE lunch. Went over Tom's (again), only, this time I brought some bratwurst, hotdogs and filet mignon. Yeah, baby. I treat my friends right! Even though they give me shit all the time. Eh, it's all give and take.

When I get back to the office, I am dead on my feet.

I've been running around trying to get stuff set up for next week (Monday I'm going to be in our Columbia Data Center to decomission some servers), and in the afternoon it was just coming to a head.

Then, at 3:00, the phone starts ringing from the Helpdesk because Christian has just gone home and put in 27 hard disk replacements! GWAHHH!

Then, at 5:00 I get a call where a store is down, and I'm doing the freak out. Turns out it was only 15 minutes worth of work, but I was afraid it was going to be like last Saturday, where I spent 4.5 hours rebuilding some disks in a store.

And I wanted to go meet S. with her friend J. at the bar for happy hour!

Luckily I got there while they were still there. Proceeded to chat, then S's Mom came in, and another friend, so, there's the five of us sitting there chatting for a while, then everyone started drifting away until it was just S. and I again.

When we finally left, 4 hours have passed of pretty much non-stop conversation.

It's turning up more and more things we have in common with each other.

She loves driving stick shifts - so do I.
She prefers the cheap shoes from Payless - so do I.
Everything has its place, but it doesn't necessarily end up there - ditto.

She laughs at my jokes, I laugh at hers. She's smart and accepting and open minded.

She's not hard on the eyes either.

I definately think I could love this woman.

----------

It's now 10:45 at night, and I'm logging in to work to do yet more to get ready for Monday, and I need to call my brother because the computer I built him a few weeks ago is having some kind of issue.

On the bright side, I have a party to go to tomorrow. On the downside, I have a 4 hour drive on Sunday.

Give and take, give and take.

You say that the day just never arrives...

2005-06-03T00:05:00.000-04:00

Oh. My. God.

Today started off as most Thursdays do for me. I get up, go to work, have a meeting where my coworkers and I rant against our manager, then go to lunch.

Well, Tom lives only 2 miles from the office, so, occasionally we'll go to his place and fire up the grill to make some hotdogs and burgers. Today, he decided, would be one of those days.

While there, all the guys (Tom, Mike, Chris, Puneet, KLM) were asking me about how I'm doing on the S. front. I tell them that I'm a coward, and I'm waiting for my balls to drop. Mike tells me that he's willing to bet that she won't ask me, so, I had better do so.

Well, Mike was wrong!

When I got back to my desk, there is an email there from her, asking if I wanted to go out for a drink this evening.

"Of course!" I reply

Nerves go into high gear at this point, and I am freaking out. I manage to do busy work the rest of the day until it's time to head over to the bar.

I meet her there at 5, the two of us sit on the side and start drinking and talking.

A friend of hers came in (drunk as all hell), we chatted with him for a while, then continued talking.

A musician came into the bar and started to play (very scary vocals). We continued talked.

SIX AND A HALF HOURS LATER we decided it was time to head out.

Awkward moment in the parking lot...we just ended up saying goodnight and I thanked her for the invite. She threw me an invite to come out with her again tomorrow (Friday).

I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY!

We never really talked about "us", but rather just about our lives, likes and dislikes. I don't really like this cat and mouse game, so, I think tomorrow I'm just going to cut through the crap and tell her point blank that I'm interested.

Sound like a good plan?

One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

2005-06-01T21:08:00.000-04:00

I know, I've been so depressing and angry lately. Those of you who know me know that I'm usually not like that. I'm usually good for a laugh.

So, for my Friends, I write this entry. This is a flash back episode. I hope it will let you laugh.

I'm actually a minor character in this one. The real star is Chris, but, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Many of you have probably already heard this story, but not all in one piece. So, here it is...

As I've mentioned before, my Grandfather passed on March 7th, a Friday. Bowling night is on Wednesdays. On March 5th, Christian blew up some stuff at work (by accident, or so he claims), and Chris was stuck at the office trying to clean it up instead of bowling. The prior Thursday my final divorce papers arrive.

For my Grandfather's passing, I was out of the office Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but I managed to hook up with the guys on Wednesday evening to go bowling.

Chris decided we needed to get drunk to drown our sorrows and to commemorate my divorce.

Before I continue, some stats on the principal players here:

Freddie: 6'0", 235 lbs (knows when to say when)
Mike: 5'10", 200 lbs (a former bartender)
Chris: 5'11", 150 lbs (gets stupider as he drinks)

In the space of an hour and an half, each of us has had 5 Screaming Nazis (2/3 Jagermeister, 1/3 Rumple Minze) and 5 beers.

We start bowling at 5:15. We end at 7:00. For the last 45 minutes or so, I think we set new standards on how poorly you can bowl.

I called it quits at that point. Chris and Mike decided to keep going.

The final: 7 shots, 7 beers in 2 hours.

I went into the back bar and hung with the guys until about 8:00, crawling into a corner to go to sleep! Only for about 30 minutes, though. Honest.

When I got up, Chris and Mike ordered some food and picked it up. Chris' food sat next to him on the bar, where he had his arms folded, head resting on them.

Next thing you know, he gets up, spins around and does a face plant on the floor! I'm totally shitfaced still, so, I kind of watch dazed while Mike is laughing. K. goes over to him, at which point I do to, just in time to see him spew on the floor.

K. tells Mike to help. His reponse?

"I didn't sign up for this shit!"

What a guy!

I throw some paper towels under Chris while K. gets him a glass of water. What does he do? Takes a sip then spits it out on the floor. Talk about distinguishing tastes...

I finally get him up and into the bathroom while Mike works on cleaning the puke off the floor. Mike comes back to switch, and I finish. We escort Chris to the same corner of the bar I was sleeping at, then cover him with our coats.

The whole time, Chris is staring at me, going "F--- you, Freddie. F--- you."

Me: "Why are you cursing at me? You're the dumb ass who kept drinking!"
Chris: "Because I was trying to get you drunk!"
Me: "Well, you did, but I stopped."
Chris: "F--- you."
Me: "Hey, remember I've got 100 lbs on you!"
Chris: "F--- you."

I called Chris' house and left a message for his wife around 10. It sounded like this:

"Hey, umm...this is Freddie. Chris had a *little* too much to drink tonight and got a *little* sick. I'm going to be checking him into a hotel. Umm...bye."

Chris wasn't too happy by this development. Mike thought I shouldn't have done it either. How come I'm the one divorced here when I'm the one that remains in contact, huh?

Anyway, Chris continued to lie there until 11:30 that night. I get him to the bar, where the two of us are drinking water until 12:15. Pat, the bartender, is really worried about Chris, as is K. I finally hustle Chris out to his car, with K. making me promise to call her in the morning to let her know we got home okay.

Chris follows me over to the office, where he declares "I think I'm okay to drive home."

Me: "I've gotta take a leak. Why don't you come in and we'll see how you're doing then."
Chris: "Fine."

So, in we go. I go to the bathroom, then find Chris leaving another message for his wife, telling her he's going to chill at the office for a while before heading home.

Atta boy!

I left him around 12:45 to get myself home.

The next morning I get the rest of the story.

It appears that Chris fell asleep in his chair, only to awaken at 4 in the morning. He then proceeded to drive home, going about 2/3 of the way, only to pull into a parking lot to sleep some more. He ended up getting home at 6 in the morning!

I called K. the next day at lunch to let her know everyone was in one piece, and she called Pat to let her know too. Apparently Pat was a wreck from worrying - poor Pat. In the hustle of the night before, I had forgotten to leave Pat a tip, so I went back that evening. Remember, children, that K. works on Thursday's too. I hung out with her for the rest of the evening, interspersed with comments of "You guys are such assholes."

Me: "Yes. I know. Tell me again."
K.: "You guys are assholes."
Me: "I know."

Luckily, the management of the bowling alley didn't find out about this. Equally lucky was that we managed to clean up the floor pretty good - not even a smell in the rug.

The bad news was Chris' wife cut him off for a month.

But she's let him touch her since. At least that's what he says...

I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real

2005-06-01T00:05:00.000-04:00

What a shitty holiday weekend, and, yes, I'm still a coward.

For those readers who aren't from the US of A, this past weekend was Memorial Day weekend, with the specified "Day" being Monday. It's officially a day to remember the war dead - those who died in battle in the US Military.

What it's become is a day of family BBQ's and drinking.

And that's spread to the whole weekend.

Except for in my case.

Saturday, 5:30 AM, the Helpdesk calls with a down store. I work on it until 7:30, then I get a few hours sleep before I get called again.

Throughout the day, I got about 3 hours to do things I needed to do. I managed to trim the lawn and went to the grocery store, only to be called while checking out. I got to bed at 12:30 that night after working on a store for over 4 hours.

That was my shitty Saturday. I didn't even get to eat dinner.

Sunday was a bit mellower, just everybody and their brother calling me all day long. The Ex, my parents, the Helpdesk...

Then, Monday. Memorial Day itself. A day off from work.

I spent it mowing the lawn, cleaning out a drainage ditch and clearing a row of shrubs on the side of the house. My bright spot was actually being able to make a meal and eat it. On Sunday I got called int he middle of cooking by the Desk.

I was so glad to be back at work today.

Until this afternoon.

S. sent me an email, asking how my weekend was. Read the above for the contents of my response. I then went to her office to chat a little. Ended up talking to her for over 30 minutes. I walked her to the exit. I had *several* chances, but like a cowardly dumb shit, I did nothing, as is my normal operating procedure.

I am so pissed off at myself. I'm willing to hurt myself, or put myself in harms way at the slightest of inclinations. I'm not afraid of acting like an idiot for fun, but I can't for the life of me ask S. out! I'm 90% sure she wants to go out, too, but I JUST CAN'T DO IT!

*smacks himself on the head a few times*

Can someone loan me a pair of balls?

But shyness can stop you...

2005-05-27T17:21:00.000-04:00

Cluck, cluck, cluck.

Yes, I'm still a coward. Not going to see S. until next Wednesday, and the following few weekends are going to be pretty busy for me.

Next weekend (04 Jun & 05 Jun), I have a party to go to on Saturday, then I'm driving to Maryland on Sunday, so I can work in my Company's other datacenter for the day decommissioning hardware and prepping it for shipment back home.

The following weekend is a maybe, but the one after that is going to be a nightmare. Holed up with several of my coworkers for all of Friday and Saturday trying to do a proof of concept test for our Disaster Recovery environment.

Last night's party was pretty fun. Went to a place called Keans. There were about 12 of us there. There was spilled beer, inappropriate conversations, office gossip...all the good stuff to make a night drinking with coworkers fun.

I've been drafted for next week's party to be the blend master again - apparently word got out.

Fine with me. I get to drink booze, I'm cool.

--------------

I've spent today immersed in code and working with Jay on trying to get it to interact with his environment. I spent at least 6 hours over the last two days getting pissed off at a program called Mutt. Turns out the problem wasn't actually in Mutt, but rather in IBM's packaging of it for our environment.

Mutt is an Open Source email program. What makes it nice for us is that it's small and allows for MIME encapsulation of files from the command line in a UNIX environment.

I had to do this earlier, so, I'll briefly explain what MIME encapsulation means.

Email is all built on top of sendmail. Sendmail is designed to work with text only - it's a very old protocol. It's also designed to just send a flat body of text as the email. Modern email is far from this, hence, MIME encapsulation.

When you add an attachment to an email, when that message is sent, the attachment is processed through MIME to be converted to a text stream, with some special text in the stream to denote where it starts and ends. Modern email clients will then read in this text stream, see the special text, then send the gibberish that follows it into a MIME program to convert it back to the original file.

All nice and tidy.

Unfortunately, Mutt's MIME implementation was garbling the file. It was an 800k gzip file, but it was getting massacred in transit. I finally tracked it down to a missing file in IBM's packaging of the program - mime.types. I found a copy of the file and put it where the Mutt documentation said it should be - /etc/mime.types.

Still didn't work.

Put it into the home directory - it worked then.

Ah, HA!

Went on a hunch and put it into the weird place that IBM places their code, and, *voila*, it worked!

6 hours wasted because IBM didn't package a stupid file and they wanted it in another place than the standard.

Ought to charge them for expenses...

Now, I've been sitting with Jay for 3 hours, trying to get this program to interface correctly - so far, no good. We get sporatic success, but then it comes crashing down like a flaming turd.

--------------

So, let's sum up.

I'm a cowardly System Administrator who can't get his shit to work.

Joy.

You should have never trusted Hollywood...

2005-05-25T20:48:00.000-04:00

I am a coward.

I want to ask S. out, but I'm afraid to do so.

I've had several opportunities, but I haven't followed through.

I don't know what it is. I'm not really afraid of rejection. If she says "no", then, okay. If she kicks me in the balls, well, that's a different story, but I really doubt that will happen. Fear of the unknown maybe?

I'll try tomorrow - maybe. Cluck, cluck, cluck.

I'm still waiting for advice, people!

In other news, I went to see Star Wars Episode III last night. I enjoyed it far more than the previous two. Lucas' dialog still sucks, though.

"You're beautiful because I love you."

I feel sorry for Mrs. Lucas if Georgie boy comes home with those gems.

"Oh, George! You always know just what to say! Ravish me now!"

...

Blech.

At least there was SOME character development in this one, even if it was only him turning from a whiny Jedi brat to a whiny Sith brat. I still can't see Darth Vader, Badass of the Galaxy, coming from this whiny boy.

And Ewan McGregor was another disappointment. His acting seemed so cold and distant. Even when he's supposed to be emotional, it isn't there.

And I *LOVE* Ewan McGregor! He's a great actor, but the direction was just horrible.

The only actor who, I think, turned in a good performance - Samuel L. Jackson.

Of course, his character is a bit of typecasting.

"Grr. I'm a pissed off Jedi!"
"Grr. I'm a pissed off hitman!"
"Grr. I'm a pissed off animated superhero!"
"Grr. I'm a pissed off teacher!"
"Grr. I'm a pissed off squirrel!"

Okay, I just threw in that last one. Wanted to see if you were paying attention.

I went with Jay, Steve and Max. We went to Chili's before hand to get some dinner. They had 2 for 1 beer, so, of course we obliged.

So, we sat there, waiting for our food, drinking beer and ogling women. The waitress was cute and there seemed an endless parade of beauties walking past. Unfortunately for me, my back was to them all...

Damn friends...

American cinema has been depressing for me lately. More of the same crap gets cranked out. Actors doing the same roles, again and again. Some of them are very good doing those roles (the aforementioned Samuel L. Jackson for instance), but it gets old. And the movies that get the reknown are when these actors break *out* of these roles.

Look at Jim Carrey for instance. He's done lots of stupid movies. I really only like Dumb & Dumber out of this range, but he's taken seriously as an actor as well because of The Truman Show, The Majestic and Man on the Moon. When he did The Truman Show, he was only known for his comedic roles. He broke out of the mold though, and reinvented himself.

Actors need to take more chances. Get away from what's safe.

I mentioned Ewan McGregor earlier as well. He's another actor who stretches his bounds. Heroin addict, bisexual rock star, a disenfranchised janitor... He pushes the limits and he's rewarded for it. He gets juicy parts. He gets the press. All because he takes chances.

Someone else who I think should get a lot more thrown her way is Kate Winslet.

Best known for her role in Titanic, she has a long list of independant films under her bodice. She's not afraid to expose herself. And I'm not talking about her body (though, I thank her for it - sha-wing!), but rather her soul. She becomes the part. It's hard to tell that she's there sometimes, she does it so well. She gives her characters life. I can't think of a higher compliment to pay an actor than that.

Well, that's enough rambling for today. Tomorrow is a drinking night, so, you might get a post...

You might not.

Roam if you want to, Roam around the world!

2005-05-23T18:32:00.000-04:00

Siryn's got a blabber mouth. I was keeping it for a surprise.

As if I don't know who all my readers are.

All three of you.

I love you all, my devoted fans.

I've mentioned Utopia before. I've met a lot of good people there, and I've become very close to a good number of them. The great thing is, a large portion of those people live in Sweden. Even better fortune, one of the other ones I'm really close with [looks at Siryn] has a certain boyfriend who is among these people.

All of them will be together in July.

And I will be joining them as well.

WOOT?!?!

I just booked my airfare.

I leave on Friday, July 1 at 5:20 PM from Newark International Airport, landing in Stockholm at 7:05 AM on July 2. 7 hours, 45 minutes in flight.

In coach.

Against the window.

Good thing I can sleep through anything.

I'll be gone from July 1, returning home on July 11. The time in between shall be a drunken debacle of friends. What better way to spend a vacation?

I've decided to see the world since I got seperated last year. In that time, I've been to Vegas, Cancun (see my post a few days ago) and now Sweden. I go my the name Elmo on Utopia, so, this has come to be known as the Elmo World Tour.

Rock on Peoria! We love you!

My itinerary for now is (subject to expansion):

Touch down in Stockholm.

Meet Torak on the train to Linköping.

Join up with Siryn, Shrike and Fieldstar in Linköping.

Party for several days. Go shopping with Siryn. Weird out the mundanes*.

Everyone gets on the train to Sundsvall.

Rock on at the Sundsvall Street Festival.

Continue to rock out.

Scrape off the vomit and rock out some more.

Go out for dinner with everyone to Casino Cosmopol (Torak works there).

Rock out some more.
Eventually find my way back to the train station to head back to Stockholm.

Fly home.

Sleep for a day.

Go back to work and lie about my trip.

*As I've never tried to weird out the mundanes in Europe, or, specifically, members of a liberal culture like that found in Sweden, this should be interesting. I'm thinking a wig and corset with no-ass pants.

Good itinerary, ain't it? If I can, I'm going to squeeze in a little more "rocking out". It's all dependant on if I can fit it in between my drunken stupors. Perhaps I'll just need to do both at the same time.

I know.

It sounds impossible.

Drinking and rocking out in tandem. In the name of science, I will attempt this feat, and I may even document it photographically. Count on it in the written form, though. If I can recall it. Funny thing with alcohol.

Oh, and Torak - if the absinthe kills me, I'm going to take you with me.

Fight for your right!

2005-05-22T10:40:00.000-04:00

Went to a BBQ party yesterday. The woman who holds these parties, I., holds them at her parents' house every year. Usually twice a year.

I started attending about 4 years ago, I guess. Haven't missed once since. Under my tutelage, the alcohol consumption at these parties has been steadily increasing as well. In fact, a couple of years ago, my wife (now my Ex) got completely shitfaced doing Black Haus shots that I brought with me, and she hates the stuff. A new term came out of that Ma-hoo-B-Q (for that is what these parties are called).

"I'm frunk."

I think you can all figure out what that is a combination of.

This time I was originally planning on bringing some stuff for making shots, but then I realized the theme of this one - Ma-Hawai-Q. Yes, it was a Hawaiian themed one! Everyone needed to go wearing some kind of hawaiian gear. I wore a floral shirt over a Tool tee. Anyway, I figured, instead of the shots, I'll go with mixed drinks.

So, yesterday, I hit the liquor store to stock up before heading over. Among the purchases:

Malibu Rum
Captain Morgan's Rum
Absolut Vodka
Absolut Citron
Jose Cuervo Tequila
Black Haus (still intended to do shots)
Triple Sec
Kahlua
Midori
Creme de Banana
Creme de Cacao
Pina Colada mix
Strawberry Daiquiri mix
Margarita mix
Mudslide mix

Then I hit the grocery store for the other odds and ends.

Total bill for this party: $300

Luckily, the mixed drinks were a big hit. We polished off the pina colada mix, half of the daiquiri mix and a bit of the margarita mix.

Had a couple rounds of Black Haus (I ended up doing about 4 shots of it), a couple Midori Balls (Midori, Vodka & OJ), a couple Miami Vices (half strawberry daiquiri, half pina colada). For a while there, pain was non-existant.

My liquor cabinet is now pretty well stocked. Just missing gin and vermouth, neither of which I like, so, I doubt I'll ever get them.

So, when's the next party?

Tell me now, what'll I have to do?

2005-05-20T18:33:00.000-04:00

Okay, I know I promised to talk about S. yesterday, but, there's not much to say. My plans for today got washed out. So, I'll fill you in on what is going on.

S. is someone else I know from bowling. Her Mom (JA) bowls on one of the other teams, and S. comes along to drink wine with their team. JA loves me. She's also rather obvious when trying to fix her daughter up with people.

First was my coworker Christian. He went to a happy hour with them after bowling once - he had a girlfriend already. JA was very obvious with the maneuvering. I didn't really realize how obvious until she found out I was newly divorced.

First came the happy hour invites.

Then came the updates on S. to encourage the two of us to speak to each other.

I never really paid it much mind until S. actually invited me to a happy hour.

S. is a tall, beautiful woman. I am particularly keen on tall women.

A week passed and it was the day of the happy hour. I sent an email to S., JA and JA's team mate asking about the happy hour. S. responded to me immediately about it. Some small talk over email continues for the rest of the day.

That night when I get there (late due to other commitments), JA pipes up with "S. wasn't planning on coming until she found out you were coming."

Interesting.

Even more interesting is the look from S. It reads plainly as "Oh, God."

I talk with S. a little bit that night before she heads out with a friend of hers. I realize that she's not only physically attractive, but a person I can relate to. She's got a good sense of humor, an outgoing personality and she's open minded. These are all very critical things to me.

I leave that night with her on my mind.

A couple of weeks later, as a final fling for the bowling league, our Fearless Leader, Marc, arranges for a happy hour. Since S. was always there with JA's team, he invited her as well. When I get to the bar, S. and another of her friends are there already.

I sit next to the friend, and Chris sits on the other side of me - this was at Chris' suggestion, since he's trying to make up for the K. fiasco and he knows I'm now interested in S.

The night goes good. I talk to S. and her friend for a while, then her friend leaves. Just in time for JA to turn up.

First, JA sits between S. and I, who are chatting back and forth, but only for a minute before S. goes to use the restroom. As soon as she's gone, JA moves over to take her daughters chair so S. will be sitting next to me.

As I said, she's really obvious.

When S. comes back, we continue to talk. We end up talking for several hours, including JA in one some of the talks, and just having a generally good time.

During the conversation, I find out that the 20th (today) is S.'s birthday, and her friends aren't doing anything for her, but are going out for another friend. S. jokes around that she wants me to give her flowers, balloons and a card for her birthday so at least someone commemorates it.

Well, that's what I did today.

I got her flowers, three balloons, a card and a 3 disc Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band set.

Yes, she's a Jersey Girl.

Today my plan was to ask her out tonight. I went to see her (oh, yeah - forgot to mention that she's a coworker too) - she thanked me for the gifts, stating that they made her day. I small talked for a few moments. Note that I'm not too good at just showing up at women's desks and making conversation. I'm very self conscious and I feel like I'm being a stalker and am an unwanted presence.

During the small talk, however, I determined that she was in fact going to this surprise party for this other friend that all her friends were ditching her over.

So, there goes the plan of taking her out.

However, a ray of sun!

She told me that next weekend she's not doing anything.

I'm hoping to ask her out next week for that. Suggestions of how to ask and where to go are more than welcome...

I want somebody to share...

2005-05-19T14:41:00.000-04:00

Okay. The fun times are past. Time to get on with the heartache.

I've mentioned before that I'm divorced. I was married for 9 years, and our divorce became final this February. It's an amicable divorce, and we're still friendly. In fact, we work together and see each other on a daily basis. It's a little weird at times, and our mutual friends get off on poking fun. A great one this Tuesday was Jay saying "Oh. Aren't they a cute couple?" when she and I were talking together.

I'm trying to move on with my life. She doesn't appear to really want to do that yet, but, its happening whether she wants it to or not.

I spoke before about reaching resolution with the girl I went out with earlier this year. Lemme give some details on what's going on here.

Scene: Bowling Alley Bar
Time: 10 PM
Actors: Mike, Chris, K. & Freddie

We are all having fun and the booze has been flowing. K. is the barmaid/waitress there. We've been a fixture here for a few years now after bowling. K. specifically asked us to hang around after bowling that night instead of going to another bar with some other people "because we were fun", so, she was doing shots with us.

It's now the end of the evening. Her and Mike has been horsing around, when she drags him out the back exit for a cigarette. When they come back in, she's writing her number on his palm, then writing a note for him, while saying "Don't give it to him until I leave." I'm not too drunk to know that I'm the "him" mentioned. Chris is oblivious, as usual.

Once she leaves, Mike hands me over the info, then complains about being used. He's such a baby.

I call her on Friday (she works on Thursday nights at the bowling alley again), and set up a date for Saturday.

Now, let's get into some interesting details about me and my personal history.

I haven't been on a date in over 9 years.
I have never really instigated a date.
My "dates" in the past really weren't dates. All in all, I've probably had three dates in my life before this.

Date 1 - The first was in High School with Theresa. First "girlfriend". The longest we ever kissed was one second. It just kind of happened with her through mutual friends. The "date" was going to the movies with these mutual friends. I didn't arrange anything - I just showed up.

Date 2 - Again, a double date. A blind double date. I'm 19. She's FOURTEEN. My friend Steve and his girlfriend hooked us up. We went to his girlfriend's house and watched movies in the basement. This girl was all over me. Learned to french kiss that night (badly) and felt my first boob. I'm so ashamed.

Date 3 - My future wife. We'd known each other since High School, and I arranged to go out with her to a dance club. We'd admitted that there were feelings between us, but she had a boyfriend. One thing lead to another at the club, and at the end of the night we're sucking face in my car. A week later she joins me for a week long vacation in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.

It's my philosophy that once you're having sex you're not dating anymore, so nothing really counted after Rehoboth Beach. (Oddly enough, this was the subject in Cancun which Glenn overheard during the Mayan demonstration spoken between Jeff and I).

So, there you go. Three dates. Two arranged, one through trickery.

I'm a bit nervous at the prospect of my first real date.

We go to the aforementioned Dave and Buster's on Saturday - the day before Valentine's Day. On the suggestion of Christian, "Take her someplace fun. Having dinner and trying to make small talk with someone you barely know is torture." We have a fun time, talk a lot, and it seems like a really good date. A 6 hour long date, actually. I offer to hold her purse when she's putting on her coat and she states "You're the first guy to actually offer to hold my purse without me asking." I give her a hug and we go our seperate ways.

I call her on Monday and we talk for a couple hours. She's busy on Tuesday, so, I decide to wait until Wednesday when I see her at the bowling alley to arrange a second date.

That Wednesday afternoon I found out my grandfather is ill and has been taken to the hospital for pneumonia. While I run outside to answer a call from my Mom, she's left alone with Mike and Chris. During this time, Chris says something which will drastically change the relationship, and this is what prompted the "let's just be friends" talk.

"I haven't seen Freddie this happy since his seperation."

Now, don't get the wrong idea. I've been completely on the up and up with her. I told her I was getting divorced and I was just waiting on the final paperwork (it arrived the following week). What did it was the fear of rebound. I found this out a few weeks later.

On with the story. I'd respected the "let's just be friends" stance for a couple of months. I'd talked to her on the phone a few times, but I always felt like a stalker doing this.

The Wednesday after I got back from Cancun was our last bowling night for the season. Afterwards was our dinner - as it was. Cold cuts and salads. We usually have a lot better, but we were poor this time because we had dropped from 14 teams to 6. I resolved to stay sober that evening so I could talk to K. after bowling. Mike gave me continual shit for this decision.

And in the end, I chickened out. I never spoke to her that evening.

So, what do I do? I go back the next night to talk to her.

She works the front desk on Thursdays, so, there's time to talk. A couple of kids hang out with her on Thursday nights while their Dads are bowling, so, we couldn't really talk until they went away. When they finally did, it went something like this:

K.: So, what brings you here tonight?
Me: To talk to you, actually.
K.: About?
Me: I'd like to take you out again.
K.: ...

She then had to take care of a customer before coming back to me, while I'm sitting there, terribly uncomfortable, wearing a sling from my wrenched shoulder in Cancun (turns out I sprained it), looking at a book of word games she was occupying her time with.

K.: I'm kind of seeing someone now.
Me: Ah. Okay.

[insert small talk]

Me: Well, give me a call if you want to talk sometime.

[Freddie exits stage left]

I talked to a coworker who knows her the next day. He was talking to her on Wednesday night after our bowling dinner. She told him she was indeed seeing someone, but was going to break up with him.

So, that leaves me with two possibilities here:

1 - She was lying to my coworker about breaking up with this other guy.
2 - She was using the "other guy", even though she's planning on breaking up with him, as an excuse to get rid of me.

Either way, I'm out of the picture.

That was a month ago. That is my resolution.

Next entry, S. Can't really talk about that yet. Might have something tomorrow night. Might not. We'll see then.

Summertime, and the living is easy

2005-05-18T12:13:00.000-04:00

Okay, as promised, I'm updating again. So much stuff...

As mentioned in the previous post, this one will be about my trip to Cancun, Mexico. But first, a little pre-story.

BEFORE CANCUN

A coworker of mine was leaving to go work for another company. Hurray to him. He managed to get out. As is the customary thing to do for your friends when they're moving on to a new place, you hold a party. So, we did.

The place we went to is called Dave and Buster's. I love this place. It's a restaurant, bar and arcade all rolled into one.

Anyway, the drinks were flowing. I was having fun. Some old coworkers were there. I quickly became the hit of the party, as well. My buddy Mike revealed that I give good backrubs (he's on my bowling team, and I've worked on his back a couple times when he pulls it), so, I quickly have a row of women eager for me to practice my craft on them. I work for booze, so, I continue to drink.

Then the dares start.

As I said, I've massaged Mike in public places. I'm confident in my sexuality and it doesn't phase me. Same with him. So, we tend to show off, hugging each other, rubbnig each other's shoulders, kissing on the cheek, whatever.

I then revealed that there is a line I won't cross - touching genitalia or kissing on the lips.

Then the aforementioned women dared me to grab his crotch.

Alcohol + pretty girls + me = What the hell.

So, I grabbed his crotch for a split second.

Everyone laughs, but Mike is complaining I didn't do it long enough.

So, I do it again.

Longer.

Everybody is laughing hysterically, I'm showing off, threatening the other guys that I'm going to grab their balls too. Mike is complimenting me on my gentle touch. For one reason or another, I grab him again later.

So, like I said, I'm the life of the party.

Then comes the invite.

"Hey, Freddie, we're all going to Cancun in a few weeks - wanna go?"
"Well, I've got money in the bank. Sure!"

So, I'm invited. Turns out that there's 8 of us now all set to go to Cancun.

Jeff (he's my roomie when I get there)
Michelle and Glenn
Lynn and Lee
Tom and Pat

As I'm sure you noticed, all of those mentioned are couples, with the exception of Jeff and I, and I've already demonstrated my ball grabbing techniques. Let's just say the rumor mill was in full swing.

After a little wheeling and dealing in the office and with Jeff to change his rooms, it's all set, and I'm off to...

CANCUN!

Because I was an afterthought, I'm on a seperate flight from everyone else, and I'm the last one to arrive at the resort, Moon Palace. The resort is all inclusive, which, in the words of Jeff includes "food, booze, booze and booze." We're actually on what's called the Mexican Riviera, which is south of Cancun proper.

The funny thing about Cancun is that it's new. The city, resorts, everything. 30 years ago, it was just jungle. Developers came in and built it from scratch, creating the party mecca it is today. People travel from all over Mexico for the opportunity to work in the resorts and clubs because of the influx of tourist money.

Anyway, enough history (for now).

I get to the resort and it's beautiful. Right on the carribean, huge pools, free booze. It's great. I get into our room, and there's a note there from Jeff to me -

"Meet us at the big pool."

So, I'm off to figure out where the big pool is. Soon enough I find it, and wander around until I find the crew. They are all already blitzed. This is definately going to be a fun vacation. I start getting ready to jump in the water when they tell me to go get some more drinks first. As I'm leaving, Lynn yells "Something with banana!" So, with my mission given, off I go to the bar.

Now, this pool has 5 or 6 bars surrounding it, two of them being swim up bars. I go to one of the other ones, the "Swing Bar", aptly named because there are swings instead of bar stools around it. They're busy, so, I'm waiting for the bar tenders to get to me. When one of them finally do I just tell him "I need 8 of something with banana in them."

Needless to say, he gives me an odd look.

"Look, man. That's all I know. I need 8 drinks with banana in them."

"Okay. I'll take care of you."

So, off he goes to the blender. While I'm waiting, up walks Jeff, completely shitfaced.

Jeff: "Freddie! What'sh taking sho long?"
Me: "He's doing the order now."
Jeff: "We need more drinks!"
Me: "How much have you had?"
Jeff: "Not enough."

The bar tender gets back, then we increase the order with "We also need 8 Rum and Cokes."

Off he runs again.

Jeff and I continue to chat, waiting for the drinks. Turns out the "Something With Banana" are Funky Monkeys. The bar tender returns with the Run & Cokes, and off we go to take them back to the group, with Jeff weaving back and forth.

I'm eager to get the party started for myself, so, I quickly chug three of the Funky Monkeys, and into the pool I go. We're swimming, horsing around, chatting. Jeff then gets out of the pool and lays down on one of the lounge chairs. The rest of us are in the water still, when Jeff gets up and heads to the room. Everyone is discussing dinner, then we break up about 15 minutes after Jeff's departure.

I get back in the room just to catch Jeff in the final throes of puking into the toilet.

Me: "What time did you get here?"
Jeff: "3:30."
Me: "It's 7:00 now. Congratulations! 3 and a half hours! NEW RECORD!"

Jeff was not amused, then climbed into bed and went to sleep. I got to break the news to everyone else at the restaurant (also part of the all inclusive deal). Lots of jokes were made at Jeff's expense.

After dinner, everyone goes their seperate ways. I head back to the room to crash. I walk in, start dropping my pants to climb into bed when Jeff sits up and says "I'm ready to go back out." So, up the pants go again.

We start walking around the resort, picking up drinks at the various bars, then walk over to the other lobby. Yes, you read that right. The OTHER lobby! This resort is so big they have two of them. As we're walking through it, we see Lee and Lynn with someone else - Lianne. She's a friend of Lynn's from Canada who is at the resort for her brother's wedding. Jeff met her once, but this is the first time for me. We exchange pleasantries, then continue drinking. After a while, Jeff and I head back to the room and crash.

END OF DAY ONE

We all meet for breakfast. Jeff and I are the first to arrive, so, we hit the bar. Nothing like a Jack & Coke with scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast. Ahhh... This is life.

After breakfast, everyone heads to the pool. I put on the sun screen lotion, then hop in the pool. I go to take one stroke and OUCH! I wrench my shoulder. I had actually pulled it a couple of weeks prior at work, but this was excruciating. I clumb out of the water, sit on a lounge chair and drink instead of swimming.

Note what I skipped when getting out of the water. Putting on more sun screen.

My friends have seen my pictures. I'm not saying anything about race, heritage, nationality or anything when I say this. I'm white. I'm really white. Not quite albino white, but I'm white. Let's just say Doctors never have a problem seeing my veins. You getting the idea here?

So, I burned. I burned weirdly, though. I stayed in the same spot throughout the morning. I have a gut. The sun screen went blotchy because of the water. I ended up with a burn across my shoulders, on my head (I'm balding, too), just the right side of my gut, and the right side of my back.

Oh, and the insides of both my calves. I have big feet. They lay on the outside. Sue me.

Lynn puts together a group of us (her, Lee, Jeff, Glenn and I) to go to Chich'en Itza the next day. More on that when the time comes...

So, it's now noon, I'm burned, my shoulder is aching, and I'm tired of sitting there, so, I return to the room to take a shower and a nap. Instead of the nap, though, I take a look at the hammock on the patio (yes, all the rooms have patios and hammocks) and decide to read the book I brought with me. I spend the next few hours reading in peace, looking at the ocean, watching the people walk past below and rubbing my shoulder.

I finally return to the group to find Lianne has joined us. After a while, everyone decides we'll meet for dinner. I'm already dressed, so, I just wander around the resort waiting for everyone to get to the restaurant. Take a few pictures, but, for the most part, I'm bored out of my mind. I head back to the room to find Jeff watching TV. In spanish. I sit on my bed and we start laughing while listening to the voice overs on Charmed.

Soon enough, it's time to head to dinner. Again, Jeff and I are the first to arrive. During the course of the day, I had discovered the Miami Vice. Half Pina Colada, half Strawberry Daquirre. Very good. :) So, we kill time waiting by drinking. Sensing the theme of this vacation yet?

Eventually, everyone is there and the dinner conversation starts. We come to find out that about half of our motley crew are all Libras. Jeff, Lianne, Michelle and I (Michelle and I are both 9/24). So, our side of the table descends into talking about personalities, people's interactions, various psychological tests, etc. Fun stuff for us, boring for everyone else. Who cares.

After dinner, we head over to the other lobby for some Karaoke. We're trying to figure out what (if anything) we want to do, while a family from Britain keeps doing different songs. Jeff comes to call them the Von Trapps. Tom arrives a little later than the rest of us, then he gets up and starts belting out some Frank Sinatra classics. The man's got a good voice.

At one point, the guys running it get Lianne and Michelle to get up on stage with some other women from the audience. They then compete in a contest to who can sing Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" the best. Complete with wig and feather boa.

Everyone gives it their all, and our girls end up in the final three, with Lianne ultimately bringing it home! Her prize - a t-shirt and a bottle of tequila! Hey, it is Mexico, remember?

After the Von Trapps start singing "Summer Loving" (again), we decide it's time to head out. Lianne splits, with the rest of us going to the resort dance club to party down. Lee and Glenn don't do the dancing thing, so, it's Jeff, Michelle, Lynn, Tom, Pat and I having fun on the floor. Soon, Tom & Pat head out, and it's just the four of us. Eventually Glenn joins in for a while, then the music turns weird, like "Sweet Home Alabama" to dance to. Okay for a country western bar, but a dance club in Cancun? Hmm...not for me.

Everyone eventually heads back to their rooms, looking forward to another day in the fun tomorrow.

END OF DAY TWO

It's 6:30 in the morning. Jeff and I need to meet Lynn, Lee and Glenn at 7:00 for breakfast before heading to Chich'en Itza (a 3 hour bus ride). Jeff decides he's not going - too hung over from the night before. BUWAHAHA! I get up, get ready, then head out. I break the news to everyone else, who laughs appropriately. We then load up on the bus. It's completely full except for one seat - hmm, I wonder who missed it. Off we go, with our tour guide switching between english and spanish along the way, explaining about the historical significance of the site, talking about the mayan people, the sites along the way and cultural differences between Cancun and the rest of Mexico. Educational but ultimately boring.

Now, like I said earlier, I burned my inner calves, so, I wore jeans to protect my legs.

Oh, dear, God.

We got to Chich'en Itza around 11 AM. Lots of open spaces. It's dusty. It's Mexico. It's HOTTER THAN HELL! And I'm sweating profusely in my jeans.

Now, Michelle had been here before. She told us that it was a one time thing. Once youve been there, you really don't want to go back. Now I know why. I feel exactly the same way now. It was cool to see, but I'm not willing to go back due to the heat. I was so dehydrated.

Anyway, when it came time to climb the pyramid, Glenn and I started at it. He sprinted and got yelled at by the tour guide. Ha ha. I took it easy, but, as I said before, I have a gut and got winded with about 15 steps to go. Finally made it up, though.

Hell of a view.

Anyway, we get done there, and back on the bus. We stop at a place on the way back for a crappy meal, then I pass out to sleep the rest of the ride.

Arrival back at the hotel is uneventful. It's been 10 hours since we left. I want nothing more than a nice shower and a change of clothes. When I take off my pants, my underwear has turned blue from me sweating and the dye in the jeans running!

We meet up with everyone else and head to one of the pool bars for dinner. They have steaks and seafood. Waiting to get in, I discover a new drink - Midori Balls! Now, lemme tell you - that's a bitch to remember. Particularly for me in my dehydrated and usually inebriated state. For the rest of the trip, I'd try to order it, and I'd get it wrong ever, single time. I had to get Jeff to order it for me.

Me: "Mitori?"
Jeff: "No."
Me: "Maderi?"
Jeff: "No."
Me: "Motori?"
Jeff: "No."

Gets a little old after a while.

Anyway, I discover this drink. I like it. I like it a lot. It becomes my drink for the rest of the trip. Midori Ball, Midori Ball, Midori Ball. Yes, I know how to say it now.

After dinner, we go to watch a Mayan show. Jeff and I get bored of it real quick, so, we sit on a wall and discuss out love lives, or lack there of. Interesting conversation. Some talk of religion, sex (at which Glenn walks over to find out what we're talking about) and various other things. During this time, I'm on my 5th or 6th Midori Ball, so, I'm feeling no pain, and Jeff and I are starting to get loud.

Fun, fun, fun.

Lynn and Michelle yelled at us when the show was over. We didn't care. We went to the Swing Bar for a while, drinking yet some more, until everyone else went to bed except for Jeff and I. We wander around the resort for a while, finally ending up at, yes, you guessed it, ANOTHER BAR!

God, I love all inclusive deals.

We befriend one of the bartenders there while we drink, and we both get pretty ripped, me with my Midori Balls and Jeff with his Jack and Coke. We even get a couple shots in for good measure before we walk around the club for a while looking for something to do. We check out the possibility of stealing a golf cart - no go. We check out the bikes - chained down.

Two problems with this resort.

1) It's a family oriented resort. Lots of kids. No real singles action.
2) Because of #1, after 10, the place really dies down except for at the bars, and they close at 1!

It's after midnight, we can't find anything to do, so, we eventually head back to the room to crash again.

END OF DAY THREE

Michelle has booked everyone (except for Tom & Pat, who want to just stay by the pool) for a trip to La Isla Mujeres (The Island of Women). They have snorkling, scuba, swimming with the dolphins and some other stuff there. Unfortunately, with my shoulder, I can't really take part in any of the reindeer games. Jeff, in his hangover, doesn't particularly feel like playing either, so, the two of us crash on the beach with everyone's stuff. He sleeps, I read.

As you can see, Jeff and I spent a lot of time together, just encouraging the jokes. What was very funny was the first night with Jeff when we got back to the room. I'm in bed, he's about to get into his bed when he announces "Ready!", then he leaps into my bed with me. But, we won't talk about that night anymore...that's private.

Anyway, Lianne and the rest of her family are on this trip with us. So, we hang out some, and I meet some of the family, including the bride to be and her kids, and the grooms kids. Turns out the groom had a bottle of water which appeared to be damaged, and tasted funny, but he drank it anyway.

Apparently Montezuma was having a field day with this poor guys bowels.

Well, everyone in our group except for Jeff and I were leaving the next day because Jeff had to stay an extra day to get a special rate on his airfare or something, so, I just tagged along. It turned out that the day everyone else was going home was the day of the wedding. When Lianne found out, she talked to Lori (the Bride-to-be), who then invited us to the wedding.

Sure! What the hell!

We all loaded back onto the boat, then headed over to a small town on the island to do some shopping. I got ripped off on buying a blanket - forgot to recalculate pesos to US dollars. Oh, well, shame on me. Anyway, we loaded back on the boat to head back to Cancun, and I sat with Lianne and her 15 year old niece.

Lori - if you're reading this, DON'T READ ANY MORE!

The tequila came out on the way back. The deck hands are going around pouring it in everybody's mouths. It was pretty weak stuff - tasted like it was mixed with Koolaid. They squirt me with it - I take a good mouth full. Then they turn to the niece. After some hemming and hawing they give her a shot too! Woo hoo!

BTW: Legal age is 18 in Mexico, people.

The guys in front of us turned out to be Southern Baptists, who overheard my discussion with Lianne and her niece about religion. These guys were totally shit faced and the big talkative guy grabs a bottle and takes a chug, then passes it to me. I take a chug, then I try to pass it to Lianne.

The niece grabs it and takes a chug.

Lianne yells at me!

BUWAHAHAHAAA!

It's all fun and games.

By the time we get back to the dock, we're all in a good party mood. We manage to get onto an empty bus back to the resort before it loads up with other people, so, we're right in front. The driver has Jean Paul playing. The drunk guys get on after us (the talkative one is really hitting on Lianne, who just wants to get away from him).

Well, Jeff and I look at each other. The bus goes in motion. I grab Michelle, pull her to her feet, grap Lynn, and the four of us are dancing in the aisle of the bus. The bus driver thinks it's great. A couple people in the back of the bus get up too. We drag Lianne to her feet. Drunk Talkative Guy gets up to dance too. The bus driver now takes on his role of DJ with relish. Problem is he keeps playing the same song! We eventually get him to change it, but not before Michelle tries to do a pole dance right behind him and almost lands in his lap.

Up to this point the bus ride is definately the most fun I've had this trip. We've been drinking, we're dancing with abandon, and we're just having some good fun.

When we get back to the resort, everyone heads back to their rooms to get ready for dinner. We were going to go to the Brazilian restaurant, but it was really humid that day and it was outside, so, we opted for the Italian restaurant instead, which, it turns out, is where Lianne and her family were at.

At this point, we tried to play a joke on Jeff. We arranged for the staff to bring a cake out for him, telling them it was his birthday. Unfortunately for us, Jeff was impatient and left to get ready to go out that evening. So, we ended up getting a cake for him without him there.

We sat there singing happy birthday to an empty chair, then we ate the cake. Baked Alaska...Mmmmm.

When I got back to the room I showed him the picture on my camera.

"Ha ha ha! You assholes! I'm glad it backfired! You have no idea how glad I am!"

Party pooper.

Anyway, we now get to the most amazing part of my vacation...Coco Bongo.

This place was fantastic. We got there at opening (around 10:30 at night) and we got to go in first because we were with one of the resorts. We got some great seats (right next to the central bar) for the upcoming show. And I do mean show.

Imagine a dance club mixed with Cirque du Soleil. I swear, that's what it was like. Lots of people dancing, gymnasts doing different routines, dance and impersonation acts on a stage above the dance floor. We stayed there about 3 hours, and I was mesmerized the whole time. They had girls dancing on the bar in front of us (of which Lynn & Michelle was taken up to join in on). Got some good, private pictures of a few of them.

There were also $3 tequila shots given by these girls. I had one in particular I liked. I got 4 from her. She rubbed my nipples. I liked it.

I never realized how drunk I was until I saw a picture of me later that Glenn took. Man, I was really shit faced.

Jeff wasn't feeling well and Lianne had to get up early to get hair done and whatnot, so, we called it a night and headed back to the resort.

END OF DAY FOUR

Jeff and I slept in. Everyone else called around 9 to say they were leaving.

"Yeah. Okay. Bye bye." >clunk<

We finally got up, grabbed some food, then got ready for the wedding.

You forgot about the wedding, didn't you?

We didn't.

So, we get to the gazeebo where the wedding is going to be.

There's 16 chairs.

Jeff and I are guests number 17 and 18.

Hmm...

Luckily, Lianne gets there. She gives me the grooms camera.

Lianne: "Feel like playing photographer? He wants some pics taken with his camera."
Me: "Okay."

So, for the next hour, Jeff and I each have cameras out, taking pictures all over the place during the service. The camera guy provided by the resort keeps getting in our way. We find out later that he wasn't hired by them, but, if they like his pictures, they can buy them. He considered us the "paparazzi". That was damn funny.

Here's what was even funnier.

Dan, the groom, during the service to Lori: "Do we know these two guys taking pictures?"
Lori: "They're cool. They're with me."

How cool is that???

Jeff and I go to the reception with everyone else. Luckily, there's enough chairs this time. I've become the unofficial photographer for the family. I'm just running around taking pictures of everything I can. People are posing. People are smiling.

I'm right where I belong - in the center of attention.

Jeff and I eventually decide to leave, bid everyone goodbye, give our congratulations to the Bride and Groom, then say farewell to Lianne until the next vacation she turns up on.

Now, you should know the routine now on what Jeff and I do.

That's right...

BACK TO THE BAR!

We invent a game this evening with a deck of cards. It's more luck than anything else. We each grab a pile of cards and guess what the bottom card is. To make it even more interesting, you gotta throw the suit out as well. If you guess the right number, you get the pile of cards you and the other guy drew. If you guess the right number AND the right suit, you get all the cards that are left. We named the game Kreskin after the character on Johnny Carson.

You know, when you're drunk, anything is fun.

END OF DAY FIVE

It's the final morning. We're both sluggish, but we manage to get everything together and head over to the lobby to head back to the airport. He has an earlier flight, but I opted to keep him company. So, what do we do to kill time at the airport?

NO! You're wrong! We didn't go to the bar!

We played Kreskin instead.

When his flight left, I picked up "Blood Canticle" by Anne Rice. I read half of it on the way home, and I finished it the next day. All told, over my vacation I finished one book and read two new ones.

As you can see, the last day was pretty uneventful. My skin started peeling that day though. Gave me lots of entertainment on the flight home.

Eww. Gross.

Okay, that's about enough for today. I'll continue with the other stuff tomorrow. Back to my boring day to day life.

Joy to the fishes of the deep blue sea...

2005-05-17T13:00:00.000-04:00

Wow.

I mean, really, wow.

I've been bad.

Very bad.

Sorry.

A lot has happened since my last posting. I did the fishing mentioned in the last post. I've been to Cancun, Mexico. I've reached resolution with the girl mentioned in the last post. I'm interested in another girl now. Given this wealth of material, I'm going to be splitting this up over a few postings over the next few days.

So, let's start it off with, in chronological order...

THE FISHING TRIP

As mentioned before, I was going fishing with my Dad, my cousin, Mike, and his son, Little Mike (age 10). When I got to my parents' house, I got the bad news that Little Mike wouldn't be joining us because it was raining and he didn't want to go in the rain.

Dad, gimme that phone...

I called him and got it all straighted out. He thought none of us were going because of the rain. When I told him we were going no matter what, he was back in.

Woo hoo!

So, the next morning, we meet up at 5:30 at my parents' house, and we're off. We stop for some breakfast as a little diner kind of thing, then we head to the water.

It was just a little freshwater fishing at Prettyboy Reservoir in Maryland, and that water was really high. The Sons (me and Little Mike) teamed up against the Dads. We staked out a place next to a bridge over the reservoir, while the Dads were across the street to work a little bend in a river feeding into the reservoir.

We start fishing, and we're having nothing but problems. Tangled and broken lines, snags in the water, etc. We're both getting mad. We've got walkie talkies to keep in touch between the two groups, and the chatter is mostly trash talk coming from Mike.

Little Mike and I kept trying floaters and I was trying a few lures. Nothing was working, so, I finally rigged up something for the bottom and just left it there while I started rigging up something else to play with. That's when my rod started showing a hit.

Reel in and I have a little white perch. Little Mike goes ape shit, grabbing the walkie talkie, yelling into it "We've got one! We've got one!"

Big Mike continues to trash talk, saying he doesn't believe us.

So, I took a picture of it.

A couple minutes later, I get another bite. Little Mike is definately ready to do the bottom fishing thing now, so, I start rigging him up. Big Mike is still trash talking, and is really mad when I tell him this one is 9 inches long. So, another picture to prove it.

Got Little Mike almost straightened out when I get another hit!

Big Mike is having a cow now.

Mike: "Where are you fishing?"
Me: "On the bottom next to the pilings."
Mike: ...
Me: "What have you been doing?"
Mike: "Floaters."
Me: "They're on the bottom."
Mike: ...

Now, Little Mike has his line in the water. I cast it out for him since he's having a hard time without the extra weight on the line from the floater, so, I put it right next to the pilings. Within a minute, he gets a hit and he starts screaming with joy.

He reels it in, then, he wants me to take a picture of him with the fish.

Then, he does something which I've never seen before, and it definately confirmed for me that we are indeed related. This 10 year old kid is pretty much the embodiment of me at 10 years old.

He kissed the fish.

Now, like I said, I've never seen this before. But, he explained that he wanted to thank the fish for letting him catch it.

Now *THAT* is definately some reasoning I would use.

Shortly after that, the Dads determined that it was raining too hard and it was time to pack it in. Just as I got a deck umbrella set up for Little Mike and I to sit under.

Thunder and lightening started shortly there after, so, Little Mike and I agreed it was time to go.

My Dad had gotten some sandwiches, so, we found a parking lot and sat in our two vehicles to eat. Once done, Little Mike proceeded to pass out.

He had a good time, the Sons caught 4 fish total, and the Dads got SQUAT!

Viva los Hijos!

Coming up next...Cancun!

I Don't Want To Start Any Blasphemous Rumors

2005-03-31T14:38:00.000-05:00

Today's been a good day so far. Got some work done (so out of character with me), got a bonus check and I even got a raise!

Wow.

Got to do my taxes tonight. It's that time of year. I tried doing them last night through an accounting company online, but it was just a massacre. I go to see someone in person to do it correctly this evening.

Tomorrow I'm heading to my parents' house - it's a four hour drive. I hate that drive. It's so boring. I'm heading there to do some fishing with my Dad, my cousin and his son. We're going to have two teams. The Fathers versus The Sons. My partner is 10 years old. It should be a lot of fun.

I got onto the topic of religion with my Mom the other night. My grandfather passed away a few weeks ago. I was really close to him, and my Mom has been taking it hard. She's a devout Christian, and I'm an athiest. Needless to say, she's not to happy about it and sees it as her personal mission to have me "return to the fold." Equally needless to say, I'm not particularly interested in that course of action.

Well, she was talking about how Pop (my grandfather) was in Heaven now, and she was quoting scriptures and whatnot about it, when she said (I was wondering when this would come up) "I don't know how you can do it. How can you deal with death when you believe that there's nothing after life?"

So, the next 10 minutes were spent in futility. Me, talking about how I believe there's a soul, but I don't know anything about there being an afterlife, and her in denial. Then, the usual discussion of the paradoxes of Christianity and her quoting scripture again, which doesn't address the paradox at all.

In other matters, I'm thoroughly confused and scared by dating. I get excited after a first date, but I'm too excited. "Let's just be friends." So, I try the friends thing, but I feel like a stalker for calling this girl that I barely know.

Suggestions, people?

Allow me to introduce myself...

2005-03-27T09:48:00.000-05:00

My friend Siryn started a blog (I'm mentioned as Mo there), and I tried my own blogger back at Y2K, but I never kept it up. Figured I might try it again, so, here it is...

It's Easter Sunday. My company made a last minute decision which threw my plans for the holiday into total chaos. Since my divorce, this is my first holiday alone. I can't even find my friends online. I managed to pick up a ham from the store, at least, so, that will be dinner. And since I prepare food to last for days, it'll be a ham week - good thing I like it.

I was supposed to go out bowling with C yesterday - never happened. So, I've been playing World of Warcraft, engaging in a war on Utopia (it's worse than crack) and watching movies. I watch a lot of movies. I'm probably going to repeat that all today, with the inclusion of the above mentioned ham dinner.